Life.

Life.

Weird word, eh? Makes you think about how weird life is and how fragile the world is right now… Well. Not really. I just wanted to be philosophical for a bit. /endfailphilosophy.

Here is something that I hear thousands of times a day:

Hey!
Oh, hello!
Howsit goin' dude? How are things?
It's going good! Things are awesome man. How about you?
I'm good!
Oh that's good!

And the end of the conversation. And this is between friends. Best friends even. Now, how many people actually mean that things in their life is "awesome"? 1/10, usually. But what about those other 9? They are just covering up what they are feeling because they don't like sharing it, or don't feel like sharing it.

What am I trying to get at? I don't really know. I'm just trying to say… This thread will be full of my life for the past couple of weeks. So if you don't like reading boring shit that happens to people throughout, just leave. Hit that little "VuTales" on the header or the VuTales logo and go to the main page. If you like reading about that kinda stuff… Get help? Haha, just kidding. I love you guys

So let's start off with my girl troubles, shall we? Since those are the things people love hearing about the most.

Now… Let's start off somewhere around… December 10th, 2009, shall we? Me and my current girlfriend had broken up that August and things were bad. I was depressed, she was depressed, and everything was crashing down on me… Again… So what do I do? I hooked up with a girl that I've been "friends" with for awhile. Some of you may have heard me Frag'ing some shit about her… Well things were good, then I got back together with my girlfriend. Everything was good. We were as happy as can be; We were in love.

And then… She found out. She found out that I had almost gone and had sex with a couple of girls during our breakup time and had… Well, done some bad stuff with them. She flipped out at me. If she physically did to me the things she said she would, I would have been a stump of a man. She went as far as kicking me out of the house. Now for me and her, that is SHOCKING. I have NEVER, and I mean NEVER, been kicked/asked/etc. to leave her house. It was ground-shaking when it happened.

So after a couple of days, she settled down. But she kept bringing it up, so it got quite annoying. She said she forgave me 100% for it, but she kept bringing it up and crying about it and everything. (And, to be honest, I cried too. DON'T LAUGH AT ME, REAL MEN CRY.) So I confronted her and I told her to please leave it alone. That it was when we broke up and it was a stupid mistake and I was sorry. And finally… She forgave me. But I think she still is mad, and I found out a couple days ago that she doesn't (And probably will never…) trust me again. Lovely. My soon-to-be-wife doesn't even trust me… </3.

OFF-TOPIC TANGENT: I felt really weird posting that "</3". Is it weird for men to do that? I feel quite gay or kind of emasculated when I do it… Odd…

Back on topic! So, everything was good(ish). And then… BOOM, it happens. I ask her if there is anything she is hiding from me. She hesitates. I ask her again, and she starts to cry. And guess what? I found out that she hooked up with a guy for seven months, when she told me that she had never been in a "serious relationship" before me. And I'm still not clear on what they did together, so I'm a little… Mad, I guess? She tells me I'm her first at everything, and then I find this out. Oh and they also hooked up for the 2 or so months that me and her weren't together. So even more…

Am I overreacting? Should I just let it go? In a "Third person view", I feel like I should. But it's hard… I don't even know why it is. We've been through so much, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal when you think about it… But it still annoys me. Maybe I'm just being a fucked up little hypocrite boy. (Tell me if I am, eh?)

Oh and also, she is restricting me even more in terms of our "physical relationship". Like… Restricting me a lot. And I don't even know fucking WHY. I have a feeling she doesn't like me as much as she used too…

Alright, now onto the more less-important-but-still-important topic: My computer life!

Alright. So you all have computers… Atleast I'm hoping (Cause if you didn't, you wouldn't be reading this. Or even on VuTales for that matter.) So you all know how addicting it is? Well, times that by 4. Right now I have 4 major "dedications". A moderation position at the most visited WoW Private Server website in the world, a WoW Private Server, an RPG (That you all know!), and my job as a web developer. Now… It's driving me. Fucking. Insane.

When I lose it, I literally lose it. I flip out, I cuss, I do whatever I can do to fuck up the other person. So… As a Moderator of high-status on the WoW website, when I lost it… Things got fucked up. And seeing as how I am the only really "active" Mod, things are still fucked up as the other Mods just sat there and watched me do the job they should be doing. So when I lost it, I was told to take a break. They went as far as threatening to ban me from the site for a week or two so I could collect my thoughts. I'm on my second week and I still don't feel comfortable visiting the site, in fear of losing it again and losing my Mod position.

So you may be wondering why I love that Mod position so much? Well, it has gotten that bad. I have sunk 3 years into that site and thirteen thousand posts. Yes, 13,000 posts. 13,830 in fact. No matter what the other Users say, I am the reason the community there is how it is. I shaped the community. Two years ago that site was nothing. It had 2 "active Forum users". In a month, I had raised that to 50. Cocky? I think I deserve to be.

My WoW server? We're a failure, to be honest. Two years of development and the last 2 weeks have been filled with waiting as our Head Developer does whatever the hell he is doing, which I believe is just sitting in his basement eating chips.

RPG… It's coming good, to be honest. My girlfriend is helping with it a bit (Concept designer <3), so it's actually being helped, where my old one was just me, and I ran out of ideas pretty quick… 😛

Real life? Meh. Nothing that special. Work is hell, truck got fixed (And then engine got fucked again), and the chiropractor is fucking up my workout. So…

There's my rant/off-topic spill. Comment, don't comment, Like, don't Like. I don't care, I just wanted to type a large wall of text about my life, because it seems I have no one to talk to anymore. I would talk to my girlfriend about it, but really… She would get mad at me for thinking some of those things.

Alright. Good night.