I feel like shit. No, actually worse then shit. Feeling like shit would actually feel lovely compared to what I feel like right now. I feel like just giving up on everything I've been building up for the last few weeks and kissing any self-esteem I had before good-bye. This feeling is the worst, and it only was built up upon almost an hour before I started on this blog. Maybe writing will alleviate this feeling, most likely not. It ain't helping right now. If anyone is offended by my usage of the word "ain't" please leave. Slipping back to my southern roots feels good right now, even though I try not to most of the time. Right now I feel like downing some kool-aid and trying to reminisce in my childhood when things were happier. When the grass was truly greener; and present unlike here in Houston where concrete is the new grass.
I'm going to ignore the advice given from this song and not shut the fuck up.
I don't think I could buck up right now, so I'm not going to shut the fuck up.
Unrelated but we seriously need a Preview Blog function
Now I feel cold, so I'll go back to explaining.
Time warp back a few hours
I was just finishing up a round of Team Deathmatch on COD4 as I was about to go out to the Galleria, a giant ass mofo of a shopping mall, with my parents when I got a call from…we'll call her Girl A for anonymity's sake. Girl A wanted to know…actually it started out as a giant mass text a few hours earlier asking people if they wanted to go to the movies; I forgot to respond earlier prompting the call. Anyways, Girl A wanted to know if I wanted to go to the movies. At that exact moment my parents asked me if I really wanted to go to the Galleria. It was as if some divine being had answered my prayers. Having already told her I couldn't go; I called her back telling her I could go. Happy at this lucky break, I quickly was driven to the theater. Fast forward now to about…3/4 through Unstoppable. The current group was, Girl A, Girl A's sister, Girl B, Male D, and me. I had seen Girl A walk out then…Male D, again for anonymity's sake, followed her out the theater. Not caring too much I continued watching the movie. When they returned nothing seemed amiss. However, peaking over to my right I saw Male D texting. Now the proper procedure for when a person texts during a movie is to stare at their texts because they're just being a dick for texting through the movie. Well that was when I saw, "are you ok even though I kissed you?" I nearly spit out my coke. A chill ran through my spine to lodge itself in my gut. I couldn't believe the situation. Male D had followed Girl A out to kiss her. I was then numb throughout the whole movie unable to pay any attention to it as the rising sense of disbelief coursed through me.
A little backstory I guess. I've been friends with Girl A since…hell 2 years ago and we've gotten pretty close. It's only recently that I've actually accepted the fact that I have some more feelings for her then "just friends." I was planning to actually ask her out after the movie today, until shit hit the fan as it goes.
After that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even keep a straight face as the sadness just crushed my spirit. Girl A, her sister and Girl B all noticed and prodded a little, but nothing happened after that. After the movie I was actually glad to leave. A terse conversation and hug with Girl A later, and I was out of the theater. I was ready to lament upon the recent occurrence and drown myself in sorrow for being a spineless pussyshit sonuvabitch until I got into the car. Inside my parents were beaming as they presented our new dog to me.
I hate that dog.
It looks like a rat.
I can't stand ratty looking dogs.
It's too hyper.
I can't stand overactive dogs.
It sheds these long white strands of hair.
I can't stand long-hair dogs who shed.
Honestly, one look at that dog and I was done. It wasn't a replacement for my old dog, Sandy. In fact I don't believe there could ever be a replacement for her. I knew her since birth, when I was 9, and we grew up together. I'm actually crying reminiscing about Sandy now. Shit. I feel worse then shit. Anyways, back to the point. I felt that there was no connection between me and that ratty looking stray. Sandy, we grew up together and I was there for her birth. We had a connection. Our dog before Sandy was there when I was born and I grew up with him. This new dog is a total stranger, a stray, a gypsy who managed to make its way to my house. I can't stand it. I want it out. However, I can't just say that to my parents. They probably were hit just as hard by Sandy's death and they finally found something to fill that gap. I, however, have not.
My night has been growing into a shit feeling monstrosity. First my pussy shitted weakness and spinelessness and now this little rat creeping around my house.
I'm a little bitch.
Writing this blog didn't help much.
Fuck.
21 Comments
There, there. Let’s just relax and have a round of vodka.
):
<3 there there
🙁
But in all those stories, isn’t competition what it’s all about? Just declare war on Male D.
Then again, this is reality isn’t it?
Meh.
I don’t know, I never experienced these kinds of feelings, so I can’t help. Why people pursue relationships at such a young age is beyond me, but because I read so much shojo manga, it’s become clear, even though…
Blagh.
Dude, you should totally jack Male D’s phone and text pictures of Brett Favre’s penor to random people. idk, that would just seem funny.
But in all those stories, isn’t competition what it’s all about? Just declare war on Male D.
Then again, this is reality isn’t it?
Meh.
I don’t know, I never experienced these kinds of feelings, so I can’t help. Why people pursue relationships at such a young age is beyond me, but because I read so much shojo manga, it’s become clear, even though…
Blagh.
Dude, you should totally jack Male D’s phone and text pictures of Brett Favre’s penor to random people. idk, that would just seem funny.
Now how to jack Male D’s phone when we barely even talk…in fact I think the first time we did talk was at the damn movie theater =/
just jack it off, it helps
🙁 Aww dude that sucks..and I get what you mean with your dog…I was a kid when my grandma rescued Pepper from an abandoned house or something and now he’s so old and his teeth are falling out and he can’t walk as far as he used to and…I know we are all going to be heartbroken when he…yeah.
Don’t think of hte dog as a wanna-be replacement. or a, Gypsy did you say? o.o Think of the new dog like it was adopted.
lol!
Mhm… the lament of one’s own weakness… I (think) I see where you’re coming from…
But do not dwell on this sorrow. Do not drown yourself in your own pity.
There are certain voids in life that just can’t be filled. However, appreciate what you do have, for you will only lament of it again when it is past.
But do not dwell on this sorrow. Do not drown yourself in your own pity.
There are certain voids in life that just can’t be filled. However, appreciate what you do have, for you will only lament of it again when it is past.
Sounds like something that came out of a novel.
But do not dwell on this sorrow. Do not drown yourself in your own pity.
There are certain voids in life that just can’t be filled. However, appreciate what you do have, for you will only lament of it again when it is past.
Sounds like something that came out of a novel.
Sounds like a gypsy fortune teller to me.
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.
I had a major crush on my friend’s cousin for years then when i finally grew the balls to tell her and ask her out, this goth lesbian who who was hanging out with us and hit on her just literally seconds after i told her i liked her, and the two connected right away. Yup, I was depressed.
And speaking of rejection rage:
Women come and go, don’t pay it no mind, bro. I also suggest you be a little more open to the whole dog thing. Whilst it’s apparent you can never replace your old dog, you can perhaps fall in love again. Maybe even never to the same extent but to be closed to the experience is just a shame.
But do not dwell on this sorrow. Do not drown yourself in your own pity.
There are certain voids in life that just can’t be filled. However, appreciate what you do have, for you will only lament of it again when it is past.
Sounds like something that came out of a novel.
Sounds like a gypsy fortune teller to me.
Sue me. I’m an insightful (if not mental) person.
Rewatching parts of Toradora makes me realize just how badly Ami got friendzoned…feels bad man
I don’t get it. Are you telling me to cut the pointless crap!? I am thoroughly offended.
Rewatching parts of Toradora makes me realize just how badly Ami got friendzoned…feels bad man
ToraDora Spoilers
Yeah. First time around, I really didn’t care much, as I didn’t pick up on some of the stuff going on with her. However, man, when you’re looking for it, Ami is such an awesome person (and one of the best looking girls in anime), and it sucks to see how things end up for her. Rarely do I have mixed feelings about a love triangle as I’m always going for the main couple (no idea why, but on the bright side I always end up happy), but ToraDora breaks the mold in that regard.
Now, a question about that scene: The first two boings are obvious (boobs), but the second one is kinda confusing. Is she referring to hips, bush, ass, vaj (doesn’t really make sense as a large one is kind of a negative), what?
@Dustin: He was agreeing with you, but you’d have to watch the show to understand.
I put that scene in there to show something, and also chihuahua reminded me of dog so I was like, hurr hurr.
I’m pretty sure the horse refers to ass, considering she went Boing, Boing, BOING with two hands, kinda like two asscheeks.
Seemed the most logical explanation to me, if she was turning around to slap her, that would be the part to look at, no?
idk why she would slap a girl though. :3 Same gender. Hehehehehe.
I’m pretty sure the horse refers to ass, considering she went Boing, Boing, BOING with two hands, kinda like two asscheeks.
Seemed the most logical explanation to me, if she was turning around to slap her, that would be the part to look at, no?
idk why she would slap a girl though. :3 Same gender. Hehehehehe.
It’s Taiga we’re talking about, though. She probably stomped in there and flung open the curtain ready to raise hell. Those two didn’t really get along, either, remember?
I’m pretty sure the horse refers to ass, considering she went Boing, Boing, BOING with two hands, kinda like two asscheeks.
Seemed the most logical explanation to me, if she was turning around to slap her, that would be the part to look at, no?
idk why she would slap a girl though. :3 Same gender. Hehehehehe.
It’s Taiga we’re talking about, though. She probably stomped in there and flung open the curtain ready to raise hell. Those two didn’t really get along, either, remember?
Ami was brotier ;-;