I feel absolutely terrible.
I just took a test on service management, followed by intermediate economics. I thought I had them both. Id been studying quite hard for all of my exams. My sleep cycle is, for the moment, obliterated.
So why do I have this feeling that I did shit?
Maybe its because it was shit. On my service management exam, I forgot to thumb through one chapter to refresh my memory. The moment I saw the section, my mind just went blank. I knew what it wasI know what supply chain management is!but I couldnt draw anything out of my mind. Just nothing. Thats at least 10% of my grade down the drain!
And thats just the tip of the iceberg. My service management professor is amazing. Hes a lovable fellow, very patient, and helps out anyone who asks for it. But when it comes to grading, he drops you like youre hot (and tells you that youre not). I made a mistake (three, the same over a series of subquestions) of summing a set of errors instead of averaging them for my forecasting. Sure, I may have come to the right conclusion nonetheless, but that didnt stop him from shaving of 15 out of 15 points for that section.
Onto my economics testI had more knowledge on what was going on. But that still didnt stop me from derping and panicking, not to mention my gastrointestinal tract decided to have a combined psychological-physiological meltdown in the middle of it. I left at least one and a half questions empty or half-written, and right now Im just praying that the judges are a bit forgiving of what I have.
What happened? Where did I go wrong?
I think I got complacent. I thought I did well on my marketing exam. I took it easy the days between the exams.
And I got weak.
I got cocky. And I paid the price for it.
And now Im here.
As a student exchanged to the East, these tests mean more than anything Ive bargained with before. On them lies my contingency of a contractual fund that Im using for this trip. On them holds the future of my continued existence to a prestigious supplementary college. On them my fate is sealed.
On them will be the line between success and failure.
And Ive still one more test to pass. You can scream and shout and spout all you want, but life will go on, whether you want it to or not
3 Comments
Also now not feeling any more confident about my management exam…
Man, I certainly understand this feels like the end of the world but you should probably take a page from the French or Fijan handbook.
Your performance in these courses does not define who you are as a person nor does it really amount to that big of a deal. Persistence is far more valuable than intelligence. Failing happens. Failing and then not continuing is the problem. Just get back on the horse.
Too many Americans and Asians only value themselves as far as their work takes them but that’s not the rub of it at all. You are a person. Single, unique and with value far beyond what you contribute to society. Pessimists (or as they like to call themselves, Realists) can go fuck themselves. The world is a lot more understanding than most people will have you believe.
Your performance in these courses does not define who you are as a person nor does it really amount to that big of a deal. Persistence is far more valuable than intelligence. Failing happens. Failing and then not continuing is the problem. Just get back on the horse.
Too many Americans and Asians only value themselves as far as their work takes them but that’s not the rub of it at all. You are a person. Single, unique and with value far beyond what you contribute to society. Pessimists (or as they like to call themselves, Realists) can go fuck themselves. The world is a lot more understanding than most people will have you believe.
Eh, I’ve seen it from both ends. Yes, a good deal of people give a lot of leniency because they see potential in people, they understand people, they’re more empathic about people’s feelings and woes. Unfortunately, my environment’s more of those who stick to the red tape more often than not. Ergo, I’d rather not eat pavement right now. I’ve taken intro to law, and I know that sometimes semantics can be a dick. Believe it or not, I’m contractually obligated to do well in my courses. Okay, that’s not necessarily true, but given the cost-benefit stakes, it might as well be a contractual obligation. Which I am fine with, though it does haunt me every now and again.
On the bright side, my grades came in, and they’re much better than I had anticipated. Maybe it’s because I’ve ridden the A train so long in my early years, it hits me harder when I drop the ball (though not when I try and fail).