(DarkDragoon) Lee’s Autobiography, page 1

Slamming his briefcase on the ground, the shady figure let out a sigh of exasperation.

“Damn, that’s the third one today, could it get any worse?”

It did.

A police car that was patrolling the neighbourhood saw the hooded figure and, without warning, blared its sirens and made a beeline for the guy.

The figure quickly turned around, and an audible swear word was heard, but it wasn’t really pronounciated, it was more like a “what the fuuuuu-” before the policecar rammed the man and all you could see was a body pirouetting 40-feet into the air.

“GODDAMN IT LEE.” said the officer in the shotgun seat, whipping out his shotgun. “That’s the fifth f—ing time you put our suspect into cardiac arrest before we could even make an arrest!”

Now if you were walking by this particular vehicle, you would see a young, freckled Asian kid stammering an apology to a giant man of African descent, visibly enraged at the poor driving skills of his partner. Now as to why such a team ever existed in the first place, well, I’m afraid no one knows, even if I am the omniscient narrator.

“Do you t-think he’s a-alright?” stammered the Asian. On closer inspection, it seems that he wasn’t a kid at all, but actually just had a slender build – he was visibly at least a teenager.

“He’ll be in a better condition that you will be once we report this incident back to HQ. I swear they’ll chop your non-existant balls and feed it to the alpacas this time.” said the shotgun wielding officer.

Now that we have established the Asian kid (or teenager) is named Lee, let us refer to him as such. And of course, you’re probably really confused on why Lee is in such an uncomfortable position – do not fret, I shall explain everything, we just need to momentarily travel back in time…..

whoosh

Ah, yes, the year 1993.

Lee was born this year. The year of the cock. The year of great luck and prosperity. Of course, when you’re born as an Asian, you go into either category. Either you’re born with a cock, or you’re born with a great luck and prosperity. Never to be outdone, Lee went for both. He had these grandiose plans whilst he was still in his mother’s womb. As soon as he smelled an egg yolk enter his mothers stomach, he grabbed it with his bare hands and developed alongside the chicken, so when he was born, in his hand was a dead chicken fetus.

That’s when his mother realized he was destined for great things.

Except it didn’t work out that way. Lee was very popular in grade school, and was the major player in all of the underground dealings. But middleschool came, and Lee was bombarded with a sudden case of the “freckles.” Old alliances disbanded, and the people he extorted in the past broke ties with him as well.

Soon, he was all alone. He stopped talking with other people, and when he did, he found it difficult to make fluent conversation, hence the stutter. His mother passed away the year after from another huge wave of the Spanish flu, giving his father a lot of grief and anxiety, having to support the family by himself. It wasn’t a happy household. The dad soon fell into gambling debt, and it was on Lee’s shoulders to reclaim his pursuit of happiness.

And that’s when a shining opportunity presented him. It was the year 2013, and a scientific breakthrough allowed people that died prematurely from disease to be revived back from the dead. However, the project was only available to those in the military, and since Lee was already working to support the family, there was no way he could simply enlist in the army.

However, there were rumors that trial tests were being run on bodies that were in the morgue. Apparently the scientists had created something even better than just revival – it enabled the body to reconstruct itself to its original, disease free state. The only way to access the morgue was via the police center, and Lee knew that becoming an officer of the law would be his key to salvation.

He didn’t know just how screwed up his world would become…