Something, something, something three.

Yo, if this gets three likes, I would have the most three recent blogs, with the tags, update 1, page 2, and something three, and they would all have 3 likes.

How sick would that be?

Probably not very.

Shit.

Anyway, a few quick stories I wanted to tell. These stories are all like 3 sentences long, so let’s begin.

The story of how I got shot in the leg, or more precisely, a guy chucked something at my leg out of a car

So me and my roommate went for a really late night run. Like. Late. Like, maybe not really late. 9 PMish. By the time we were done it was like 10, and we were near Wal-mart.

So I was like yo, let’s get some food from Wal-mart.

And he’s like.

Sure. Why not.

So we get food from Wal-mart.

And we were walking back, and suddenly this car just whips by, and I feel like this sharp CRACK on the back of my leg and someone yelling. I feel pain and I look down and there was a broken egg on the sidewalk. Thankfully, it didn’t break on my leg, because it hit like the part where it could just bounce off.

And I’m like, did the guy just fucking threw an egg at me?

My friend was just laughing his ass off, so I was like.

Why the fuck didn’t he throw it at you? You’re a bigger target than me.

And that’s when he got offended and assumed I called him fat.

(which was partially true).

The story of how I met the crazy cat lady of our apartment

So I got back from work and I was entering the apartment when I looked up for whatever reason and this cat was like staring at me.

I was like, yo, cat, the fuck are you looking at?

And behind me this lady just says, “oh, she’s waiting for me to come back.”

And I spazzed a bit and turned around and I see this 20-30 year old just gazing at me, then to the cat, then back to me.

And I’m like.

“oh they allow pets in our building?”

wow. i have so much tact.

She just gave me this withering look and walked past me.

To be fair, it’s probably not fair for me to call her a crazy cat lady.

…

The story of how all my friends are going places and how I’m just here writing blogs

I’m so sad.

One of my roommate is in France, the other in China.

My other roommate is hanging out with his girlfriend doing god knows what all day.

And I’m just sitting here.

Writing blogs.

Browsing reddit.

Perusing tumblr.

Reading tweets.

The fuck is wrong with me.

wow, now im so sad i don’t even want to continue typing the blog.

rip.