Women, pssh.

I'm not one for this drama-y bullspit and I absolutely hate it when I have to use the word "drama". All of this is told from an entirely apathetic standpoint. If it sounds like I'm whining, just ignore it. Also, the title, I don't hate women and I'm not trying to generalize them; it's just a hook and a rant.

I've always wondered. Why do they have to take anything congenial and gnarly and, for lack of a better phrase, fuck it up. Y'see they feel the need to take everything you do or say and tack some absurd meaning to it. For the love of God, don't compliment them else they begin to love you for it. They take the nice, great relationship you've got at the moment and feel the need to make it better! Yay, better! Right? Not quite! Time for a few lengthy anecdotes about past relationships you probably don't want to read!

Katie

Okay, this is (one of) my best friend(s). She's always been there for me. She was there when my grandmother died. She was there when my grandfather was arrested. She's always been there. Now, she loved me for the longest time. It was fine with me; I was fine with letting her get over it because y'know I wasn't ready to risk our relationship on some kneejerk crush. Now, having known that she liked me, I introduced her to my (white rapper, incredibly hopeless) cousin. They hit it off, I suppose. They stayed together for some time and I was content with being the best man at the wedding. Things went from better for worse in a few months. They were caught having sexual relations in what they thought was an abandoned home. I found out. They need to borrow my phone because he was grounded for getting caught and I read through their messages. They broke up soon after because she just didn't like him. Anyways, we continued to be friends. Later she confessed her love for the second time in hopes I would realize it would work out. No luck, Chuck. I respectfully declined on the basis she'd slept with someone in my family. She got over me soon after and got a new lover, Blue. They broke up recently; nothing special. Okay well now, we don't talk nearly as much as we used to and we argue every time we do. She lied to me and told me she had slept with only one fella because she thought I would "judge her". Well darn, Katie, I found out and now you're a liar AND you're promiscuous. (Not trying to insult her but she is.)

Anyways, that's how she fucked up that one. Maybe I did, that's for you to say.

Mallory

I don't much care about this one anymore. Not the person but the relationship. She's a dog. (The good connotation) She's pretty awesome.Well, we were "together" for the longest time, I suppose. She refused to call us "together" because she wasn't allowed to be "together". Okay, that was cool with me. I had the general understanding we were "secretly" together. I'm fairly sure the messing around we did sealed the deal as well. Too bad she decided to accept an invitation to the Prom (Damn, I sound like the stereotypical angsty teenager) from another guy. Damn, sucks, right? I asked her about it frequently. I always asked her "Are we still together" and she'd say "Yes, why?" and I'd say "Because you seem to flirt a lot and I like to just make sure. You are taking the guy to the dance". I said that in a more or less assertive way. She took it as me being jealous and clingy with another oh-so-famous horrible female interpretation. We eventually just stopped talking. We rarely talk now and it's only when she needs something she talks to me. I don't care; I know she's cool and I don't mind helping a sista out.

Anyways, that's how she fucked up that one. Maybe I did, that's for you to say.

Ashlan

Oh boy, oh boy. Creme de la creme of female beauty and anatomy. She was great. We talked for ages and it worked out fine being friends. That's the point though, all we did is talk. We rarely ever saw each other. She was homeschooled and I was always busy with school so we just talked when we had time. That was fine with me. Until one day she told me she liked me. Boy, oh boy, was I psyched. Honestly, the best girl that's ever even considered me. Okay, so we got to talking and I told her we didn't "hang out" enough to be together yet and we should hang out more. Next day, "We need to talk. I don't want to ruin our relationship. Blahditty blahditty blahhh" Okay, I still liked her. For once, I was the one chasing the girl. She asked if I was mad. I responded " A little disappointed, not mad." She took that point blank and moved on. I, however, didn't. Now she attends the same school as I do and she's going out with a total dick. Not much to say, we never talk anymore.

Anyways, 4750 characters and 875 words later, that's all.

Just a rant, ignore it if you like.