YOUR MOM'S ASS ONLINE

…aaaaaaaaand it's me again! Because I am a total loser and have nothing to blog about except my pathetic life (which you don't want to hear about and it will last for a grand total of about 5 lines anyway) and QoTWs.

Speaking of which, I always seem to have the most spam-like blog titles. I wonder why this is? *hurhur*

So. The big question. Online vs real life, how do I act?

Really, the main part of the equation is who I am talking to. I would sooner touch a spider and let it run up my arm, play with it, keep it as a pet and feed it three square meals a day in flies than start up a conversation with someone I barely know, over the net, and throw insulting YOUR MOM jokes at them. Simply speaking, like hell it would happen. (Just an FYI, I use YOUR MOM probably more than I breathe, but I'm a bigger fan of Dez's mom. ;D)

I know those jokes are just jokes.

My close friends know that those jokes are just jokes.

But random people I met two hours ago or something over an anime site, who are willing to pour out their life story 'bout how they were abused as a kid, almost sent to an insane asylum 13 times and go D&M about everything? (I'm sorry, I shouldn't make fun of this, it's just a little wave to Dez. 8D)

Nu uh. Knowing my luck, I'd get someone who could hack a system blindfolded with both hands tied behind their back and is a total pro at typing with their nose. In less time it would take me to consume Gackt's delicious body, I would probably have >9000 Trojans and viruses on my brand new MacBook.

Also I'm a lot better at lying over the net than I am in real life, but then again, who isn't? Ah well. At least you can't see me looking somewhat guilty if I tell you the gold vault is straight down this corridor and to the left, then right through the door where the horrible screams are coming from.

Now, in real life, that's a completely different story. I'm a lot looser with my brilliant repartee *cough cough*. The whole demeanour I can use is totally different, so it's much easier to tell I'm kidding around. Again, it depends who I'm talking to: some uptight 40 year old woman with a stick shoved up her ass; a guillable 10 year old (not that that stopped me from teaching kids what bukkake was a couple of years ago), or what.

…although if it's an online friend I just met IRL for the first time EVAR, that would be awkward. And I would be awkward. And I would have nothing to say, unless I knew them very well.

…so, yeah. The point is, GENERALLY my online demeanour is the same, except I'm nicer to strangers. Oh, and, of course, the most glaringly obvious difference is: I CAN'T MOLEST YOU FIND YOUR ISCHIAL TUBEROSITY FOR YOU HUG YOU AND PALPATE YOUR COCCYX OVER THE NET. D:

For which you are very sad about, aren't you? 8D