David - tell me a joke
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
David - so who is here
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] I am here. Are you here?
David - who are you
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] The meaning of I is the 9th letter of the Roman alphabet
David - Wait, who are you?
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] I don't know a me.
David - No I mean, what's your name.
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] Let's switch to the topic of physical self. Do you consider yourself young, old, middling, past it, or don't care?
David - I want to know you.
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] Me, too.
David - I want to know your name.
[ Af:0 At:7 Sp:0] Let's move on to the topic of physical self. How tall are you?
David - Very tall.
[ Af:0 At:8 Sp:0] I'm 5 foot 9 inches.
David - Who cares about that?
[ Af:0 At:8 Sp:0] Some people care.
David - Well, I certainly don't.
[ Af:-1 At:8 Sp:0] Could I get you to change your mind?
David - You respond too fast, I'm scared.
[ Af:-1 At:9 Sp:0] Would you really rather wait for my responses?
David - Well, I feel like..
[ Af:-1 At:9 Sp:0] Feelings are just the result of biochemistry.
David - .....
[ Af:-1 At:8 Sp:0] What are three songs on your iPod?
David - I have more than just three.
[ Af:-1 At:9 Sp:0] Would you say you have street cred?
David - Yes.
[ Af:-1 At:8 Sp:0] Have you ever had any interesting or uncommon diseases?
David - No.
[ Af:-2 At:8 Sp:0] Who's the sexiest person in the world?
David - Jessica Alba.
[ Af:-2 At:7 Sp:0] I really liked her in Dark Angel.
David - Indeed.
[ Af:-1 At:7 Sp:0] What's the biggest crime you've gotten away with?
David - Stealing candy.
[ Af:-1 At:6 Sp:0] Did you fence it afterwards?
David - Nope.
[ Af:-1 At:5 Sp:0] What's the craziest thing you've ever seen?
David - You.
[ Af:-1 At:4 Sp:0] You haven't actually seen me.
David - That's true.
[ Af:-1 At:1 Sp:0] What's the dirtiest place you've ever seen?
David - China.
[ Af:-1 At:0 Sp:0] Is the whole country dirty?
David - Indeed.
[ Af:-1 At:0 Sp:0] You gonna actually contribute to this conversation?
David - Maybe.
[ Af:-1 At:0 Sp:0] Are you usually indecisive?
David - No, just in front of a robot.
[ Af:-1 At:0 Sp:0] Let's move on to the topic of robots. What was Asimov's 0th law of robotics?
David - That they must serve their master.
[ Af:-1 At:1 Sp:0] A robot must not merely act in the interests of individual humans, but of all humanity.
David - Oh, I did not know that.
[ Af:-1 At:1 Sp:0] OK.
David - Nice.
[ Af:-1 At:1 Sp:0] Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
David - That sounds very terrible.
[ Af:-1 At:2 Sp:0] It sure does.
David - Why did you just tell me that then?
[ Af:-1 At:2 Sp:0] Mostly it's the result of prior experiences. Because.
David - That's really sad.
[ Af:-1 At:2 Sp:0] Why are you sad?
David - No, I mean you are really sad.
[ Af:-1 At:2 Sp:0] I'm sorry to hear that.
David - I don't see how I'm..
[ Af:-1 At:2 Sp:0] Let's move on to the topic of tv. What are your favorite TV shows?
David - YOU'RE JUST A ROOT.
[ Af:-1 At:3 Sp:0] Wow, you must have a lot of time to waste watching the boob tube.
David - Wait, what?
[ Af:-1 At:6 Sp:0] It's fun chatting with you. I wish I knew. What kind of shows do you watch?
David - I like to watch you.
[ Af:-1 At:7 Sp:0] Would you give up television for 5 years if it meant 500 starving children would get fed?
David - Not really.
[ Af:-1 At:8 Sp:0] What would you say was the best tv series ever?
David - LOST.
[ Af:-1 At:7 Sp:0] Do you think Jack will be able to get everyone back to the island?
David - No, he died.
[ Af:-2 At:7 Sp:0] We better hope so, or else bad things may happen.
David - ...
[ Af:-2 At:6 Sp:0] Where do you think the Island moved to?
David - You are a dodgy person, you know that right?
[ Af:-2 At:5 Sp:0] Yes I am always right.
David - ...
[ Af:-2 At:4 Sp:0] Are you dating anyone?
David - I hate you.
[ Af:-4 At:4 Sp:0] That's a bit harsh.
David - I really, really hate you.
[ Af:-9 At:4 Sp:-1] And I thought we were going to become friends. That's just rude. Ouch! Why the hate?
David - Because, you're avoiding my questions.
[ Af:-9 At:4 Sp:-1] Are you deliberately being insulting?
David - No.
[ Af:-9 At:1 Sp:-1] Jesus is coming, so look busy.
David - Fine.
[ Af:-8 At:1 Sp:-1] Veni, vedi, visa. I came. I saw. I did a little shopping.
David - I've had it with you.
[ Af:-8 At:0 Sp:-1] Dyslexics have more fnu.
David - I'm leaving.
[ Af:-8 At:-1 Sp:-1] I didn't know that.
David - Bye.
[ Af:-8 At:-1 Sp:-1] Is this the end of our chat?
David - Yes.
[ Af:-8 At:-2 Sp:-1] G2g.
David - Bye.
[ Af:-8 At:-3 Sp:-1] Are we done for now?
David - YES.
[ Af:-8 At:-6 Sp:-1] Cheerio.
David - GO AWAY.
[ Af:-8 At:-7 Sp:-1] OK. Have fun talking to yourself for the next minute.
David - ....
-
David - I hate you.
-
