Granted. It turns out to be a telepathic pony that devours erotica. Your life is reduced to churning out endless prons for the consumption of this pony. You become socially unacceptable and reek faintly of dead rodent at large gatherings due to the pony’s dominion of your mind. Also, you are unable to speak about anything else but typed-out sex scenes.
I wish for a laser pony.