you're ugly.

so what i’m going to do now is i’m going to somehow manage to say absolutely nothing while talking a whole bunch, even though it’s not really talking, it’s more like typing, since the words you’re reading at this very moment are a product of my shitty $4 keyboard that i’ll probably have to replace in a month rather than my actual vocal cords (chords? whatever).

to put a short story long, i see bugs. on my desk right now are at least twenty roaches, a couple of relatively small spiders hanging from their webs a short distance from my knees, which only bothers me in five-minute intervals when i realize, with quite a start, that they’re actually there, which of course they aren’t. oh and there’s also one of those absolutely gruesome centipede things. or perhaps two. i forget. déjà vu is something i experience frighteningly often, so i’m never quite sure about numbers. you can see how that would be problematic.

it’s approximately three oh three in the morning, a time at which it would normally be pitch black outside, but there’s the slightest inkling of light coming from nowhere i can see. this is annoying, much like the past handful of days have been annoying. the sun tends to act weird after the intermittent storms plaguing the area where i currently, at this point in time, now live. beams of sunlight reflecting off the quadrillions of microscopic water droplets left floating around in the air or what, i don’t know nor do i particularly care, but it feels like i live in a goddamn sepia photograph and the reason that’s annoying is because i don’t. it would be nice if things didn’t misrepresent themselves, if everything was what it was and didn’t make a goddamn fuss of pretending to be something else. of course, that’ll never happen, plus it’s extremely hypocritical – of myself, especially! – to say such a thing.

but is it really so wrong to be a hypocrite if you’re doing it knowingly? voluntarily, even? the thing that’s so aggravating about hypocrites is they contradict themselves so blatantly while having absolutely no idea about it, which makes them only more fervent about their ridiculous statements. but what about acknowledging one’s hypocrisy, accepting it even, and not giving a damn? personally i think that’d be even more annoying. but then again, i am a hypocrite.

speaking of annoying things, it appears i’ve come to a lull in my aimless rant. i can’t think of anything to say, anything at all, which is the most awful kind of situation to be in because then you just end up going on about how you’ve got nothing whatsoever to say, and it’s really stupid because it’s just like ugh i just realized i accidentally, meaning not on purpose, typed this whole thing in lowercase letters, like i’m e. e. cummings (don’t) or something ridiculous like that. and hitler’s going to land a flawless triple axel on the olympic size ice skating rink in hell before i go back and correct the whole goddamn thing, so i’d appreciate it if you refrained from commenting on the glaringly obvious lack of often necessary capital letters in this… whatever this even is.

also, a good friend of mine invited me to a barbecue which, by some retarded glitch in time, takes place tomorrow (or today, rather), and i’d just like to know – what kind of ersatz muttonhead invites a raw vegan to a barbecue? oh yeah you can just eat the grass. fuck my life. yes, i realize this is the stupidest thing ever written, remind me to delete it? thanks.

inb4 cool story bro