TRP – Crysis, Left4Dead, and TF2

…and that's it for this hours news broadcast, but before we go, we have the weather forecast and a little surprise for y'all. Here's Ollie Williams at the BlackieWeather Forecast. What's the weather like Ollie?
IT'S GON' RAIN
Thank you Ollie, and here's The Ranting Panda with the newest segment of our show, "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BARGAIN-WARE."
Ahem. Yes, I am The Ranting Panda. I'll be providing you with game information every once in a while when I can. This week, we're reviewing:
Crysis – The one game that will make your PC cry
Left4Dead – Zombies Galore!
Team Fortress 2 – Lots of shooting… that's really all I can say.
Alright, let's do this.

Crysis

Alright, so this game has been out for quite a while now. I bought this game almost 5 months ago, not even thinking. I wanted to test out my new computer. So I spent my $49.99 and installed the game. That's all I can say for now, so let's move further into detail.

Story

So, to talk about the story without revealing any super secrets… Alright. So you start off the game jumping out of a helicopter and landing on a beach. you have no idea what the hell is going until a black guy comes over and tells you to follow the squad. "Fair enough." You later discover that the Koreans occupying the island are in search of the same thing you are, but at this point you're going "Okay, what the hell are we looking for?". Then, one of your team mates gets fucked over. you move on. One by one, they get picked off and what not. To make it simple and short, your team mates die, Koreans are looking for some kind of super-weapon, aliens are involved, blowing stuff up is pretty much all you do. The story is not as in-depth as it could've been.

Graphics

Alright, so the GRAPHICS. OH MY GOD, THE FRICKING GRAPHICS. They are fucking gorgeous. I am not over exaggerating. I had the graphic settings on low, and it looked like the graphics set on CoD4 all on high. I switched everything to as high as possible at max res, and dear lord, I was in heaven. But for me, heaven is running at 15 frames per second. I quickly switched back. I was able to play on medium settings, but man… The graphics are just amazing.
Not only are the GRAPHICS amazing, the engine amazes even further. Pretty much EVERYTHING, is interactive. You can chop down a tree, and throw that shit at enemies. It's fucking AWESOME. Only thing I can complain about is the hefty system requirements. Moving on.

Gameplay

Alright, so at the heart of every game is the gameplay, and this can either break, or make a game. For Crysis, it is very unclear whether or not the gameplay is as enthralling as many say. Lets start with the basic shooting mechanics. Crysis feels great in terms of control. You can get different types of crosshairs depending on what you prefer, or not crosshair at all. It all controls smoothly, and I had no problem with the shooting. The hit detection is good as well. Head-shots are easy enough to get so long as you zoom in with the right button to focus on their head. The controls feel perfectly fine.
Next is general gameplay. In Crysis, you have something called a Nano-suit. This is basically something that makes you fucking superman. You have 5 powers at your disposal.
1. Invisibility.
This has to be by far the most entertaining of ALL the powers. There's nothing like going invisible, running up to a Korean, fucking grab his throat, and throwing him at his team mates.
2. Strength.
This basically makes you super strong. You can throw things really far, you can throw PEOPLE really far, you can jump really high, that sorta thing.
3. Speed
Makes you go super zoom-zoom fast. Useful for running. 'Nuff said.
4. Shield
Basically makes your body stronger to withstand bullets and what not better. Regenerates your health faster as well.
5. Weapon Customization.
Not really a power, more like an added feature. Allows you to attach stuff to your guns. Very cool
These powers can be very entertaining, but they get a bit boring after a while. Playing on Delta (Hardest Mode) requires you to use all of them smartly, or you WILL die.
So, extra game-play tidbits…
These are things I really hated about Crysis.
1. The fact that you had to run all the fucking way from one end of the island, all the way back to another, again, and again, and again. The vehicles suck for driving too. Blow up too often.
2. The minimal amount of things to do.
Sure, you'll have to face a standoff every once in a while, but C'MON. There's barely anything to do other than shoot people.
3. Multiplayer is dull. Not only do you have to sign up for something, you have to install another program. Absolutely ridiculous. Multiplayer goes PBBT.

Overall Score

Crysis graphics may be beautiful, and the engine may be incredible, but the game play is a bit dull. The only part I thoroughly enjoyed besides the beginning was the part where I got to nuke something.
…Oops, did I just spoil something?
Score: 7.5/10

Left4Dead

So, Left4Dead is Valve's PC/360 zombie shooter, and I have to say, they really went Balls to the Wall with this one. Let's take a look.

Story

There really is no story to be told. Basically you're one of four survivors that fight zombies through 5 campaigns trying to stay alive.

Graphics

Once again Valve has outdone themselves. The improvements to the Source engine are phenomenal, and Left4Dead looks as good as expected. Guttin' zombies never looked so good. Not much to be said here, but great graphics.

Gameplay

Oh sweet Jesus the gameplay. This is where Left4Dead truly shines. You are 1 of 4 survivors. You have to fight your way through hordes of zombies to a safehouse at the end of the level. After 5 or 6 levels, you reach a standoff point where you fight the most extreme zombie invasion EVER. the zombies aren't like idiots or anything, no. These are like, fucking 28 Days Later zombies. They WILL run at you. What makes it worse is that there are special zombies too.
1. The Hunter
Basically what the hunter does is pounce on you and scratches at you until you're dead. they can leap great heights and distances, and probably the second scariest thing you'll encounter in Left4Dead.
2. The Smoker
This bastard shoots it's tongue at you and starts strangling you. Once you reach it, it starts clawing at you. Very easy to kill really… unless you're the one being smoked. 3rd Scariest.
3. The Boomer
The Boomer is a fatass who vomits on you, and the vomit makes zombies run at you like you've got a chocolate bar at a Weight-loss Convention. Not scary at all.
4. The Tank
Omg. The tank. this badass can run WAAYYY faster than you.When he gets close enough, he'll swing at you with a claw, leaving you temporarily on the ground. These sweeps do a LOT of damage. They can also lift shit from the ground, and throw it at you. Shoot fast, and run like hell. Scariest asshole ever.

This game also has achievements. 53 if I remember correctly. They're VERY entertaining to do. Gameplay is absolutely magnificent.

Co-op and Multiplayer

This gets it's on category because this is where the game is MOST fun. Co-op is playing with other people to complete the campaigns, so you don't have to deal with the stupid AIs. Versus is even better IMO. This is where players take turns playing the Survivors, and the Infected.
When you're playing as an infected, your type of special infected is randomly drawn, and you pick a position to spawn in. You can't spawn where you can be seen by survivors, and you can't spawn if you're too close to them. This is totally AWESOME. Being the Tank is absolutely the most exhilarating thing you'll ever do in a video game.

Overall Score

Valve REALLY made this game as polished as ever. Big thumbs up.
Score: 10/10

Team Fortress 2

Last one guys. Hope you enjoy.
Team Fortress 2 is also from Valve, and was in development for quite a while. After the success of Team Fortress Classic, they announced a sequel, but is it any good?

Story

No story, complete multiplayer game.

Graphics

Graphics look great. The cartoony style graphics tell us that Valve doesn't always take things TOO seriously. TF2 graphics are a perfect example. If you don't know what I mean, google TF2 for a better look.

Gameplay

This is going to be a thick section.
There are 9 classes to choose from.
1. The Scout
Probably the most versatile class in the game. The Scout is the fastest, and can double jump to get to different places. Also has the lowest HP. It can flank enemies, capture points, and capture flags the best. It's arsenal consists of (Shotgun, Sawed-off shotgun), (Pistol, Energy Drink), and 2 bats with different functions.
2. The Soldier.
Fires rockets. Makes you go boom. arsenal consist of a rocket launcher, shotgun, and shovel.
3. The Pyro
Flamethrower guy in a stretchy, flaem retardent suit. 'Nuff said. Wreaks havoc very well in small spaces.
Flamethrower, (Shotgun, Flare Shooter), 2 Axes.
4. Demoman
ALSO makes things go boom. Has a grenade launcher which shoots bouncing grenades, and a sticky bomb launcher. Arsenal contains a Grenade Launcher, Sticky bomb Launcher, and Broken Beer Bottle.
5. The Heavy
This is the "Tank" class. It has the most HP, and is usually accompanied by a medic. It has 2 miniguns, "Sandvich", a shotgun, fists, and boxing gloves.
6. The Engineer
This guy is probably the most helpful class there is. He makes teleporters, sentry guns, and dispensers. He's armed with a Shotgun, pistol, wrench, and blue prints to make buildings.
7. The Medic.
He heals people and occasionally uber-charges them to make their power level go OVER 9000!..
They can either ubercharge with invincibility, or 100% critical hits.
They have a 2 Healing Guns, 2 Needle shooters, and 2 Saws.
8. The Sniper
Shoots people from far away with a sniper rifle that charges up as long as you keep it zoomed in. He has a sniper rifle, an SMG, and a Machete.
9. The Spy
Probably the most annoying class there is when you're faced with one. They can go invisible for short periods of time, and they can disguise as enemy players. When they touch an enemy however, they won't go through the like team mates. They also have the ability to kill engineer buildings, and their butterfly knife is a 100% kill ratio from behind. He holds a Revolver, a Sapper, a Butterfly knife, and disguise book.

All these classes work together in working towards a goal. there are 4 game modes that I'm aware of.
1. Control Point
Basically just try to capture all control points by standing on them. You win after that. Scouts are very useful in this mode.
2. Capture the Flag
Uhh… don't have to be an idiot to figure this out. Once again, Scouts = Useful
3. Payload
This is where you stand near a cart, and keep moving with it to move it along to different checkpoints. Once you get it to the end, you win! Heavy = VERY useful.
4. Arena
You're simple game of Deathmatch, except you wait for when people finish the game before you respawn.

There are also achievements. These achievements contribute to new weapons for different classes. There are more and more every few months for new classes. Very fun game.

Overall Score

Great game, awesome with friends, completely online.
My Score: 9/10

That's it for now, tune in next time for The Ranting Panda!
(God, my fingers hurt.)