How to get a Guy. (Jon's Guide!) Pt. 1

Before I start this, I know lots of people think that I'm not fit to write something like this(History of violent behavior), but I'm still a guy, and these are things that to me, would get someone to like me. I'll cover the stuff that people usually miss about guys. This is for girls(Maybe guys.. -cough cough- Froggy) who'd like to know what makes a guy tick. Just remember to be yourself, and that these things sometimes don't work.

The Basics.

Behind every guys mind, there are 3 things that revolve around his world. I will cover them in detail.
1. Food
No matter who the guy is, a guy will always have a spot in his heart for food. Even if he's skinny, he'll still love food. If you're a good cook, this is a GREAT advantage for you. You could spontaneously make food for him, and it'll mean more because you made it. This can go two ways.
1. He'll accept the food and say "Thanks." and he'll brush it off like nothing. A lot of guys do this. Like I said, food can be very important to us. Half the time, we won't even care who the food's from, as long as we actually get food.
2. He'll suspect that it was a sign that you want to be closer to him as a friend, or that you're interested in him. When this happens, you can expect them to talk to you more and he'll hang out with you more as well… unless he's an ungrateful bastard. (See 1.)
This next part is important though. If number 2 does happen, then you need to play it carefully. You don't want to push yourself on to him TOO hard, but you don't want to seem to distant. The best thing to do is to hang out with him often, but not so often that you're interfering with his social life. Butting into his group of friends while he's there is NOT a good idea. Before you can do that, you need to get to know his friends better as well. Befriend them, and get them on your side. You can then use them to your advantage. I'll get more into this later.

2. His Ego.
Behind every guy, no matter how humble, is someone who likes being complimented on how awesome he is at something. Sometimes guys won't show it, but there's usually a tell for when he likes being complimented. It could be a quick smile, a blush, or even a weird eye movement. You want to manipulate this to your advantage. *Drop subtle compliments now and then, like if he's playing a sport, and you're watching, he scores a goal, compliment him in a way that's not too flattering. Sometimes you'll want to flirt with him a little bit by jeering him after said sport. "You were a bit sloppy." or "You could've done better.", but don't say it in a serious tone. Say it in a silly, goofy, or sarcastic tone to let him know you're joking around.
*Note: This should be after you've known him after a while. Flirting with a stranger is a bit… strange, and could put him off.

3. His Sex Drive.
In every guy, there is an inner pervert. Lots of people know this well. A lot of the time, you might not see it, and sometimes, it's VERY obvious. Play around with that, and see how far he's willing to go with his perverseness. If it matches your level of perverseness, then you're pretty much set, but if it doesn't, there are a few things you can do if it really bothers you.
1. Force him to change. Not the most effective way, and probably the worst and hardest way to do something about it.
2. Adjust to him, changing yourself.
3. Move on. (Lulz)
In every guy's mind, there's always one point in their day (Unless they have no life, A.K.A, Dave.) where the guy will think "Damn, I'd tap that old fashioned.". There are some obvious tells for when this happens. As a friend of mine once said, "Breasts. Is there no greater motivation?"
1. He will be VERY unfocused.
2. He might have his mouth open.
3. He might be drooling
4. He might be staring into space when this happens.
This is quite possibly the most dominant part of the guy's brain, (Unless the guy's fat, and you're a chubby chaser. Then he's probably got Number 1 on his mind.) and you girls (and Froggy) need to understand that.

So, that's it for now. I'll be back with more later when I'm bored, and have this down to a science.