Blog title

WTF WTF WTF

"Thank you for taking me to the party. I really had a good time. But…I don't think we should see each other anymore…Take care in whatever you do Mike.

Much love,
Vicky"

That's what greeted me on MSN this afternoon after school after a very lonely day. It was Monday, that meant no one will do any work nor anything fun. Was just me and my iPod.

Went to Victoria's before I came home, greeted by her Dad.
"She went to a friend's to get homework. She's sick." He grumbled. AND I KNOW ON THE TIP OF HIS FUCKING TONGUE HE WAS GONNA ADD "of you." AFTER BUT HE HELD BACK!

Fucking bastard.

So I went home tired as eff, and hungry.
I reach my house and sign on to MSN. Then the little notification sound rings. I was in the middle of pulling a new shirt over my head so I didn't read it until after I got food.

That's when I read what I typed above. My first reaction was "Where's the 'LOLJK!!'?"
Then my second was "Oh shit." She wasn't on.
Or more like she was just avoiding me but w/e I didn't want to talk to her right now. I had to think.

I played a little MapleStory while I thought, talking with some buddies. Then I went out for a run. Just 3 laps around the track near my elementary school was all I wanted to do.

I panted as my asthma kicked into high gear, but I didn't stop. My vision blurred, and sweat drenched my brow. But again, I didn't stop.
I pulled off the track and went towards the civic center, maybe run indoors there. My shirt clung to my back.

And it angered me. The cars driving by me did too. The cool Canadian breeze made me furious. I stopped at a nearby tree.
Me? Out of all the guys in the world. Why did this happen to me? I kicked some bark of the tree. Me?

I walked the rest of the way, not because I was too tired. Because I just wanted to hurt something. Or someone.

I reached the center and went to take a quick piss before I went to the weight room lockers to shower (ya I'm THAT cheap and there's less people there.)

I see some of Victoria's friends at the food court. I was kinda in bad shape (sweaty, angry etc) so I just waved hello.
What did I get in response? A fucking disgusted look. That was my breaking point.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I yelled at them from across the food court.
"You are the problem." A girl replied.
"WHAT?" I walked closer, about to Chris Brown some people if I had to.
"I said, you are the problem."
"Oh okay so how am I problem?"
"You know why." Then they all got up to leave.
"You know why" I mocked and reached out to stop them from leaving. "Where's Vic?"
"She doesn't wanna see you."
"I don't care. Where is she?"
"She doesn't want to-"
"I just said I don't care. Where is she?" I caught two of them glancing towards the girls washroom. That's all the evidence I needed.

I ran into the women's washroom and sure enough, as if she was waiting for me, Victoria stood there.
We stood in silence then I asked the question. "Why?"

She then named a lot of things about me. Some small, some large.
For example, she told me I get into arguments often.
She told me I try too hard sometimes.
She told me I'm smart.
She told me I'm an idiot.
She told me I'm adventurous
She told me I don't care about much.
She told me I'm a loser, and that I'm good for nothing.

Things like that.

Anyway when she was done with her little "rant" she told me that we're wasting our time here.
So then quickly imagined a scene, like in CSI where the guy grabs something and hits the girl in the head, and keeps pounding her until she dies.

You don't know how much I felt like doing that.

I was about to say something to defend myself with, but she cut me off saying "My friends were right about you."

The word "friends" hit me like a freight train."Gah! I knew it" I turned and stormed back towards the food court.

I wish I had a gun and around 5 bullets right now =/.

"Spreading shit eh?" I hissed at the group. I was entering a battle.
A decisive battle. It was me versus 5. and Victoria.

"No, we were just…discussing your past actions with your girlfriend. Or should I say ex?"

Okay, okay I admit, that one stung a bit.

After some back n' forth, I realized I could never win. They convinced her too far in.

Okay so there are some things I didn't tell her that I did in the past, or what I want to do in the future.
But they all name the smallest things, like throwing random shit into a public pool last summer.
Or all the graffiti I did in the boys washroom and blamed someone else when I almost got caught.

I was blinded by rage more than anything.
Remember when I said I wanted to hurt something, or someone? Well it came out. And I sorta had a temper tantrum so to speak.
I grabbed some snow off the ground and threw it at the Civic Center. Hitting the windows, walls, anything. Swearing uncontrollably while I was doing it. When I was outta snow, I ran away.

Running all the way back home. And cried in my backyard. By the big ol' maple tree.

I still think crying makes you weak if you're a guy. But I wasn't feeling very strong at that moment. I went back inside and went on MSN.
Talked to some people. Then Victoria logged on.
I guess she didn't block me yet. I'll do her a favor.

Then messaged me. "We have to talk."
I actually laughed at my screen, and typed "LOL!" and then blocked her.

Then I went to watch TV.

Then I came on here and typed this long ass rant/blog/slur of words/whateva.

Sorry for the lame blog title.
And sorry if I was ever a dick to ya too 😀 didn't mean it. Well maybe I did…but at least let's be neutral.

ssaN~