One Up

So on Monday I went on this sorta…mini date with this girl.
We just hung out at the mall for a day you know?

And this dude….like we all know he likes her. And we all know he's been trying to tap this for like 2 years. And I'm doing ALL what he did in about 2 days.

So anyway, this douchebag just HAPPENS to show up and decides to stick around. Now I never knew him until that day, so I was worried.

What if he was cooler than me?
Or maybe smarter?

I had my share of worries.

But spending a good 5 mins with him made me relax. This guy's a pure idiot.
We decided to go the Apple store. This guy starts talking about his customized Windows 7 high tech gaming shit computer.
I'm looking at this dude like "wtf r u doin?"
OBVIOUSLY SHE DOESN'T CARE!

But whatever, more points for me. "Dang." I looked over at the girl. "You look really cute on camera." Then I pulled out my shy boy smile and shifted my eyes to the guy.
"Aww that's so sweet." She walked on. I winked at the guy.

Nass -1 Dude- 0

Then we went to go eat at A&W. She wanted a Mama burger combo. I wanted a Teen. I paid for us both. Fuuuuuuccckkk the other guy.
So he tries to one up me, and orders a Grandpa burger.

Fucking idiot couldn't even finish his food. Then he has the nerve to ask me why didn't order something bigger.
"I'm trying to watch my daily food intake." I said innocently.
He pressed on, knowing I was full of shit. But the girl didn't.
"Wow, maybe he's sensitive about his weight. Lay off."
"Yeah, be considerate." I said sadly. But behind the girl's back, I blew him a kiss.
He was mad now.
Nass- 2 Guy-0

Our next showdown was when we stopped at this sunglasses booth.
The girl tried on some glasses. And I gave her compliments.
Then the guy says "Pick one out. I'll pay."
Normally, I'd be scared. But I knew…
"Um, this is $450…"
The guy froze.
I almost peed myself laughing.

Nass- 2 Guy-0 Girl-1

I felt bad for him. Some smooth black dude is taking everything he worked for. So I hung back and let him talk to her for a bit.
Then he turns around and raises his eyebrows at me. Like he's winning.

Aw hell naw.

So I sped up and jammed myself in between them and slipped my arm around the girl's waist. No resistance.
But I wasn't done. As a bonus, I slid my arm around the dude too and raised my eyebrows at him. He shook me off and fell back to go sulk.

Nass-3 Guy-0

dude didn't stand a chance against me.

~Nass