So I went to the doctor’s office on Friday.
To discuss the results of my tests, like my medical tests, when I was sick and all.
My thyroid levels: Normal. Which puzzled me. Because if that didn’t cause my sickness…what did? ( I have hypothyroidism)
Cholesterol levels: Normal
Now the main event, and the center of this blog…
My heart. Now, I don’t really remember what the doctor said in whole. But the jizzt of is.
Okay, my heart structure is just like everyone else’s.
But the way my heart functions is….”different” from everyone else’s.
What she said was, my heart operates on a “different variation of normal”.
So from what I understand, it’s normal for act like this, but it’s different from the normal way.
Which you’re probably like: “k? But it’s not urgent?”
According to her, it’s not. I don’t have any heart sickness of some stuff like that.
But I had a few questions that she didn’t have the answers to.
One of them being: “If this is normal? Why did I get so sick from it? If I even got sick from it at all?”
She shrugged.
Can you guys keep a secret?Promise? Okay…
I don’t wanna be a Debbie Downer but….
I think this isn’t gonna go away anytime soon. Even now, I sometimes get chest pains. My anxiety spikes from time to time.
And….I really don’t know how to explain this one, but I can FEEL my heart beating.
Like remember when I said:
It’s still kinda like that. It’s like….I can FEEL my heart just sitting there in my chest. I can feel EXACTLY where my heart is.
you’re probably like “ya I know where my heart is too.” Yeah that’s because I brought it up, you’re thinking about it right now. I can feel it all the time. It feels like….I dunno, a heavy rock in my chest. It feels very uncomfortable sometimes.
I can’t really explain it, that’s the best I can do.
So yeah tbh, I think this is gonna hurt me a lot in the coming months/years. I’ve even entertained the thought of it killing me. I don’t think I can survive another 2-week episode like I did in February that was probably the scariest part of my life. Just thinking I could have a heart attack right there in my bed and die. The feeling of you heart skipping beats is not something one wants to experience let me tell you that. Your face gets all hot, and your eyes open wide and you have this blank “:O” expression on for like a half a second. Then you feel all this warm blood rush through your body, the air enter your lungs. And then you’re back. Heart beating like crazy, but you’re alive.
I dunno. I’m kinda at the point where I’m so used to feeling so “weird” it’s like: “Whatever, I don’t care if I die soon…just please…make it not hurt. And I pray I die in the comfort of my home, either alone or surrounded by family and friends.”
I wouldn’t be able to look at my mom though. Her eyes watching as the life gets drained outta me would just kill me (lol niceee Nass.)
But that’s all for another blog yes?
Remember, you guys already promised to keep this a a secret.
~Nass
12 Comments
That is freaky…
I hope it doesnt last and you get better
<3 all my love buddy. Hope it dosnt ever come to that scary point
I hope it doesnt last and you get better
yea. I’m sure this is just me overreacting but…y’know gotta consider all the outcomes right?
@Gujju: <3333
I feel my heart beating a lot. When I’m trying to fall asleep, I can hear my hair/skin rubbing against the the pillow and making a shitload of noise because of the blood flowing through. I also hear it in my ears.
when you’re alone in silence?
Edit: And just so you know, I can’t really hear my heart as bad as I did before (hence the “kinda still like that).
When that happened I meant like I’d be in class listening to the teacher, and I just hear “ba-boom, ba-boom” regardless of the noise level around me.
that’s pretty freaky man.
I shall pray for you.
-bro hug-
when you’re alone in silence?
Edit: And just so you know, I can’t really hear my heart as bad as I did before (hence the “kinda still like that).
When that happened I meant like I’d be in class listening to the teacher, and I just hear “ba-boom, ba-boom” regardless of the noise level around me.
Your heart problem happens to me sometimes as well, but usually after eating (like this morning, I had some breakfast and was in class for a little bit, got up and started walking and my heart felt like it was gonna explode for some reason, it skipped a beat and then starting pumping really fast. It hurt too). I wanna see a doctor, but I’ve missed alot of school already 🙁
when you’re alone in silence?
Edit: And just so you know, I can’t really hear my heart as bad as I did before (hence the “kinda still like that).
When that happened I meant like I’d be in class listening to the teacher, and I just hear “ba-boom, ba-boom” regardless of the noise level around me.
Your heart problem happens to me sometimes as well, but usually after eating (like this morning, I had some breakfast and was in class for a little bit, got up and started walking and my heart felt like it was gonna explode for some reason, it skipped a beat and then starting pumping really fast. It hurt too). I wanna see a doctor, but I’ve missed alot of school already 🙁
That’s weird…You should probably go see a doctor man. Better safe than sorry.
I get some pain when I eat sometimes too, happens all the time. It’s like I eat, then I get this “heart burn like feeling” in my chest and it hurts like a bitch. Then I have to chug water for it to go away.
..Maybe it’s because I eat wayy to fast for my own good. (I wolf down boxes of Kraft Dinner in like 10-15mins and I’m still hungry afterwards)
The heart is a very hardy organ. Hell, all of your organs are extremely adaptive. That being said, your organs can only take so much. Just don’t do anything that would bring unnecessary stress and strain on it and I think you’ll be fine. Things like drugs, alcohol, too much stress, raging emotions, all play a big factor. Give your heart a break, after all, it’s working for you 24/7. Best of luck to you!
This is where I stopped reading to say
lol Nass
@ Nass: Yeah, mine isn’t so loud. But, yeah, I think Dest was saying this: You get up, or you’re just sitting there, and suddenly your chest starts hurting like a bitch
This is where I stopped reading to say
lol Nass
@ Nass: Yeah, mine isn’t so loud. But, yeah, I think Dest was saying this: You get up, or you’re just sitting there, and suddenly your chest starts hurting like a bitch
lmfao yeah I bet I made it worse for myself by smoking before I got better 😛
Whatever, no regrets.
Edit: It was the only time I felt normal too 🙁
Never to late to change 🙂