Quang Legend

I found this in a old MMOT folder. I found a bunch of other stuff too..things people sent me…things we wrote together. I just found this one really strange. I can’t remember who wrote it.

Anyways:

DISCLAIMER: All characters are in no way related to anybody and any relation to either name, description, or anything else, is merely a coincidence.

Rated: Z for Zappy – Viewer discretion is advised

SUMMARY:

A group of kyuute widdle kittens that were horribly mutated by the evil temptress android, Melissa, became a new species of kittens that are known as ‘Quangs’. These Quangs look normal, but they actually have supernatural qualities. They are also permanently attracted to the same sex. Denied by society everywhere, these outcasted kittens moved to San Francisco, where they lived happily for years utnil that special day. Their goal? Conquer San Francisco, then…Melissa. Rumor has it, if they gangbang her, they might revert back to heterosexualism.

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The city of San Francisco was in no way prepared for the Quang invasion. Though small, flightless, and lacking almost all basic motor skills, the Quangs quickly stole away little children and puppies all over the city. The SFPD’s various beta double ended tazers and ballerina batons were no match for the powerful CARE BEAR STARE

There are five main Quangs that led five different groups into seperate parts of the city. They were all special in their very own gay way.

* 1. David – The lead gay. Carries with him a massive, 6 ft sword that can crush buildings with it’s girth alone. He usually starts with highly advanced arithmetic equations to confuzzle his opponents and make their brains asplode. Then he goes in for the kill. His squad maintains the northern part of San Francisco, and specalizes in advanced technology.

* 2. Pirkiie – A Quang who is often refered to as Quang Bond. He is known as a cocky, arrogant fool, but acts very aloof. He seems to have a liking to brown snails and can be seen doing indescribable activities with snails. His squad patrols the western side of the story and they specialize in secret rouge-like activities and are highly trained assassins.

* 3. Carrot – The biggest lesbian to ever walk the face of San Francisco. Often targets poor Snails and Hamsters. And occassionally, a shiny pair of wings. Her squad occupies the eastern side of the occupied city, specializing in fruit and vegetable based attacks, such as stuffing pineapples up asses for hemorrhaging of epic proportions.

* 4. Donut – The only other female Quang of the group. However, when Melissa mutated the Quangs, she became bisexual through a freak DNA infection. Donut has high standards, and very few males attract her attention for more than a minute. She controls a squad that operates on the southwestern bay of San Francisco

* 5. Sapphypotatorussetaure the Cattato – The strangest of them all, Sapphypotatorussetaure was brutally affected by Melissa’s mutation. When he was mutated, he was no longer a normal kitten, though none of the Quangs are. But he no longer looked normal, for he smelled like a raw potato. If you touched him, you wouldn’t feel a soft, cuddly kitten. You’d feel a hard, smooth, potato. That’s right, Sapphypotatorussetaure turned into a potato. His existence created a new species called ‘cattato.’ The only trace features that showed he was once a cuddly kitten were his ears, limbs, and tail. And a ferocious set of starchy fangs. Because he was a freak of nature, no Quangs wanted him to lead them, so he was a lone wolf who patrolled the southeastern portion of the city. Um, I mean, lone cattato. He specializes in starchy attacks, such as, launching globs of potato at his enemies from his mouth.

The Quangs were led by a special leader, V, who commands all 5 regiments of the Special Elite Awesome Quang Police Anime Snowhamster Force. V was a strict commander, often showing a blind eye to the casualties of the SEAQPASF. He has a dark secret, however. Under the cold, steel cover that might be his scaly hide and internal rig cage is a secret, blinding and overpowering love for Melissa, his creator.

San Francisco. A magnificent city created to harbor even the most unusual creatures. From heterosexual creatures, to lesbians, gays, and even transgenders. All frolic happily in the city known as San Francisco. The city had never seen destruction since it’s birth in the 1800s, but as the black, snail-shaped clouds loomed over the rising skyscrapers of the main triangle, the people of SF knew something was wrong.

And they were right. For those clouds contained the legendary Quangs, only heard of in banned children’s books and softcore erotic bestsellers. Fur began to rain on the streets of the city, the sun trying valiantly to shine through the massive girth of the log of Quang clouds. Like sneaky Funnyfrogs, they began to descend on ninja ropes down from the clouds, landing (feet first, as they were kittens and kittens always land feet first) on the top of buildings and small telephone company shacks.

*How did they becoem gay in the first place?
*Melissa
*Tried to turn them into zombies
*But it was the gay virus by accident
*Turned the kittens into the gay
*So feeling ronery, the kittens migrated to San Francisco.
*Where they became…
*known as…
*Quangs
*A rare species
*Living underneath the public eye
*Should have at least five main Quangs. Like Power Rangers LOLOLOL
*Should not be cliched
*Penis is extremely short.<-Lith