I HATE CHINESE

I CAN'T HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER.

I F:)CKING HATE CHINESE

ARRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

CHINESE IS A BUNCH OF RANDOM STROKES AND STUFF SOME IDIOT FROM THE FIRST DYNASTY OR TRIBE OR WHATEVER DECIDED TO COMPILE AND ASSIGN VARIOUS MEANINGS TO

THEN THE DAMNED COMMUNICATION DEVICE BECAME A LANGUAGE OF OVER A HUNDRED THOUSAND WORDS.

Or at least, that's my theory.

WHAT THE F:)CKING CRAP!!!!! WHY DID THEY DO THAT?! WHYYYYY?!!! EXPAND LITERARY HORIZONS? BRAIN-FRY THE NEXT GENERATION IN SADISTIC GLEE? Probably the latter, innit? Well, they're succeeding. Really really really well.

WHAT THE F:)CK WENT ON IN THEIR HEADS TO MAKE THE DAMNED THING SO F:)CKING COMPLEX?!!!! THE SENTENCE STRUCTURE ALMOST LOOKS RANDOM!!!!! SOME PHRASES MIGHT BE RANDOM WORDS STRUNG TOGETHER!!!!!!! Oh, that brings me to the next thing…

WHY, IN THE NINE F:)CKING CIRCLES OF HELL, DO THEY NEED THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF LITTLE PHRASES?!!!! In an ordinary human's lifetime, we use less than half of those phrases! The other half is pretty much redundant, and fancy versions of earlier phrases.

What? What's that? YES, I obviously f:)cking know, SAME FOR GOD DAMNED F:)CKING ENGLISH AND TAMIL AND FRENCH AND LATIN AND WHATEVER SH:)T F:)CKING LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD!!!… But Chinese is the most relevant here so I shall be biased against it.

Oh, why am I ranting? WHY AM I RANTING?

I JUST FAILED MY CHINESE, THAT'S WHY.

Because Chinese is just, SO F:)CKING UNNECESSARILY COMPLICATED, I couldn't answer half the questions on my paper and obviously failed.

It involved reading this long-a$$ chimology uber complicated Chinese novel. I didn't even manage to plough through half of it before it became clear that I didn't recognize a couple dozen words and that the story was boring as hell. It's about a class of middle-schoolers who had a new teacher because their old one mysteriously disappeared. We never find out what happened to the man. It was corny, with over-the-top language and stuff. The kinds of crap books with random fancy words in them, you know.

Well, I wouldn't mind if it was, well, interesting. BUT IT WASN'T. You know, Steven Erikson? The author of the Malazan trilogy, where every book is more than a thousand pages long with long, long dialogues and complicated, rather confusing-in-first-reading fantasy stuff? Well, I could sit through that, with interest too. BUT NOT THIS. THIS BOOK SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN WRITTEN, LET ALONE PUBLISHED. IT'S WORSE THAN TWILIGHT. WHICH MAY SEEM IMPOSSIBLE BUT THIS GUY HAS DONE IT.

But anyway, I suddenly realize that that's not really the point.

The reason why the author could do that, WAS BECAUSE CHINESE HAD THIS WHOLE SH:)TLOAD OF SYNONYMS AND WHATEVER COMPLEX CRAP TO USE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Fine, it has a vast and impressive range of words, I'll give you that. BUT THEN THE WORDS GET SO COMPLEX WITH INCREASINGLY MORE STROKES I'M CONVINCED THAT THE ENTIRE CHINESE LANGUAGE WAS JUST FOR SHOW AND NOTHING MUCH OF ANYTHING ELSE.

Oh, we have to learn Chinese! The Chinese market is growing! You will have less job opportunities when you get older because the Chinese market is fast dominating!

Well, the Chinese has more people speaking English than the population of America, SO WHAT THE BLOODY F:)CKING F:)CK ARE WE AFRAID OF?

By this time, I've already learnt and committed more than a thousand Chinese words and phrases to memory, thanks to school's brainfry. I don't really think I need more to "communicate with the Chinese", BECAUSE MODERN CHINESE DON'T SPEAK LIKE KONG ZI OR CONFUCIUS OR SHAYAMALAMAMA CHINESE WHO USE UBER LANGUAGE LIKE THAT.

But then again, this rant is probably completely irrational because it was done on whim and passing anger.

Which doesn't change the fact that the nature of Chinese made me fail. Bad.

Gosh dang it, I need to eat something. After killing it.

Preferably an amphibious creature.