I'm back with a dull unnoticeable bam.

How long have I not seen this site?

Uhh, wait, allow me a moment to think about it. No, I can't remember. Since my last blog. Which is… I don't really remember. November methinks.

Reason? Reason. I don't know. I mean I love you guys and I wanna be part of the Vutales community for as long as it exists. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to type in the site and login and stuff (hell yeah I've been checking in… Occasionally). Maybe it's because, you guys are the only people on teh internetz to whom I spilt out my various problems and troubles to. The mom stuff. I don't think any of you are interested in hearing more about my mom so I shall not bore you. All I'll say is that it's come to a conclusion which I hope will last.

I'll be damned, I don't even know myself as much as I think I do.

I think my hiatus started because of, eh, writer's block. Got no idea what to post about anything. And everything was moving real slow. So maybe, I got the habit to skip right on to another forum as my first stop instead of Vutales. And then it gradually got shifted to the back of my head. Yeah, that's probably how it happened.

I remember around the time before my hiatus, there were lots of people blogging about various serious problems… I wonder if they're all resolved by now.

Weird pointless stuff I secretly think about
You know, when I go to school, at the start of every year, the principal will always make this huge inspirational sleep inducing speech about this being a "new year, new start, new beginning, forget what happened for the past years you've been in this school". But nothing has changed. There was no real "new start". We all started the year in a class filled with familiar faces which we attached a list of stuff to. You know. "Tommy: To avoid- he'll pummel me if I defy him. Ryan: Epitome of lameness." All the other teachers still stick to their preconceived notions about my class, which are mostly negative. New beginning my foot. True to my ever cynical self, I believe that such speeches are probably more of for show, so when somebody higher asks, the principal can be like, "Oh, I've done my part, I've made an inspirational speech, whether they heed it or not is irrelevant to my interests."

Sometimes I think about life. How we as a human race are always progressing… But not towards an ultimate goal, because an ultimate goal doesn't really exist. We are to progress exponentially before dying out as a race. Maybe that's a good thing, maybe that's bad. I don't know. But it begs the question: What is the meaning of life? Cliche. But I've still yet to find an answer so maybe I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. Maybe there is no meaning. Maybe we just are. Maybe the universe has no point. And maybe, you know, that's a good thing. Looking at the big picture takes a lot of the stress away, because the only point is to live, and everything else is secondary.

Sometimes, I question my logic. After all, like Kurt Godel so nicely put it, "how can you tell if your own logic is "peculiar' or not, given that you have only your own logic to judge itself?"

I was having a happy discussion with another friend who makes no sense to me. She was a hardcore christian. She claims that "eternity is longer than infinity". I told her, "That's impossible because infinity is used to describe the concept of an endless value."

Then she says, "Then why are eternity and infinity different words?"

I reply, "Because eternity is an infinite amount of time."

And she replies, "No, you're dead wrong."

I ask her why, and she says, "I'll tell you another day."

That, to me, is an admission of "defeat". I smiled at her. But undoubtedly, she feels that she makes sense.

We had another happy discussion about walking on the ground or the road. It started out as a joke, I can't remember exactly how it went. But then I said, "Look, everything we can step on is ground, but it's not necessarily a path."

And she said, "No, that's not true. Look, I'm walking through this grass, it's a path."

I replied, "It was not intended as a path, just a field of grass."

And she replied, "I can walk this way and call it a path."

I say,"Well then, it's your path in that you trod there, but it was not originally designed as a path. An official path would be this-" I said as I stepped onto the concrete sidewalk.

And then we drop it because neither of us could comprehend the other.

But we will never know who used logic and who didn't, because, after all, we only had our own logic to judge itself. Perhaps we're both right?

I really like the new divider.

Really.

Sometimes I read up on a subject, and then the various views all make sense, and then I don't know what to believe. I then decide that I can't be bothered to do exhaustive research on it, and then I move on to the more immediately important things in life. As a result, I end up with half baked beliefs about various issues. I feel like I'm the only one with this problem because I feel like I'm the only one stupid enough to end up with this problem.

ASSASSIN'S CREED 2 IS FUGGIN' AWESOME

While the story lasted.

I really really wished it was like Oblivion, y'know. Open sandbox. I wish that:

-I could walk into brothels, break into people's homes, witness some executions…

-Have people other than Lorenzo de Medici giving assassination contracts (None of which were significant. I wish that they made the assassinations affect the storyline somehow.)

-Have my very own horse instead of picking up whatever random horse comes my way, and kill people by riding into them

-Being able to take up jobs.

-Have Ezio's freaking family talk more to you about emotional stuff (Half the family got executed and the game only devoted like, 10 seconds to them mourning for the loss. Other than the mother being in depression until you collected 100 feathers… Dammit I HATE COLLECTING TASKS)

-More flying machine awesomeness

-More Leornardo da Vinci conversations NOT about the codex pages

-Have pushing people around and stealing from them etc socially unacceptable actions have more lasting effect (You're dressed COMPLETELY different from everyone else and yet nobody remembers you after you tear down a couple o' posters and bribe some heralds? Oh COME ON. But I really like the almost consequence-free rampages.)

-Having no consequence to running around in rooftops… I mean it doesn't even make sense, why are guards stationed there to shoot down anyone who dares go to the roof? I know it supposedly makes the game more challenging, but it's more of an annoyance than a real challenge.

-Why is there no jail?

-I wish you could go to Sunday mass too. To do crazy things you'd never do in a real church in real life.

Okay, okay, I have more than a few nitpicks with the game and you probably tl;dr'ed that. But that's probably just because I like games that give total content and total freedom, like Oblivion. But other than that, the game is GIANT in scope and the ending was FREAKING AMAZING. Although I wonder why nobody in the Renaissance made any comment about the holograms and things. But the story was just WOOOT and the free running was freaking awesome (provided you don't combo break) and the counter killing seriously never gets old.

I also had fun throwing money at the river's edge and when everybody ran over to get some, I shoved one or two into the river. And I punched random women and pushed them down repeatedly while they ran for dear life… God damn the animation is gooood.

I suck at computer programs in general.

…

I GOT CHOCOLATE BODY WASH FOR CHRISTMAS LULZZZ I'm so gonna use it before school tomorrow. I wonder if I'll smell like chocolate… To be honest, I'm not too excited about the chocolate comments that might come my way, but… Come on it's CHOCOLATE