Nothing Gold Can Stay

WARNING!!! EXTREMELY LONG BLOG AWAITS YOU AND YOU WILL MOST LIKELY FALL ALSEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

Ohman. Three blogs about crushes make me feel left out.
So let's see…What experiences do I have with crushes? Well I'm only 13 so that could be a problem.

I'm the type of the girl that gives her heart out easily, which in most cases for people would result in having it returned broken and wounded. I'm not going to sit here and type to you that my heart has been wounded 236276 times, because that would be a blatant lie. Instead of having my heart wounded, I generally break hearts. It makes me feel pretty guilty because they end up hating or avoiding me afterward.

I think…out of my history of crushes, there were two guys I was obsessed with. Mike (wow ironic) and Jeffery.

Mike

So um…Mike is a year older than me. He's a mexican/viet mix and hangs out with the fag crowd. Really, he's a fag himself, but isn't everyone? So I believe in was 6th grade that Mike liked me and I liked him too but I never told him that because I didn't really want him to know. He was kind of what you call a "bad boy" >_> But he was still very kind and generous.

He would talk to me everyday and we would comfort each other about our day's problems. Typically, I would have jumped the guy right there, but the problem with Mike was…I didn't know who the real him was.

Around his school friends, he's a total perverted fag. One of those people that laugh at the little kids and pull pranks on them. At one point, he was laughing at me with a friend when I was walking home for some unknown reason. Oh yea, and he told one of my guy friends that he loved my boobs…MY BOOBS, and I quote "when she leans down and her shirt goes down, you can get a glimpse of those babies"
I'D PREFER IF A GUY DIDN'T DO THAT KTHNXBAI.

So around the beginning of my 7th grade year I decided he was totally wrong for me. My feelings ended for him without him ever having known them. He still pursued me for a month or two but eventually gave up.
Thinking back to it now, after I had decided to end it, I began acting pretty bitchy to him. His parents are getting a divorce now, so times must be rough for him and I really feel sorry for him. But his personality is so immature it makes me so….ANGRY.
Ohyea. I forgot to add this. MIKE STOLE MY FIRST KISS TT-TT

/End crush on Mike.

-Couple months past-

/Begin crush on Jeffery.

Jeffery

Okay, I think ya'll have heard a lot about Jeffery recently, so I'll just type how it all started. But because I don't want to take up blog space (it's really long) I put it in a spoiler tag :DDD

Jeffery…HE'S FUCKING 5'11" NOW.
Anyway, we met in 6th grade. He was in Pre-AP classes along with 2 of my other friends and I was in AP classes. We all ate together at lunch, but Jeffery and I never really talked throughout the year. Truth be told, I really hated him.
I made him a quick birthday card because I forgot it was his birthday (not like I ever knew) and it was really ghetto. I asked Grace, one of my friends in Pre-AP classes with him to deliver it to him.
At lunch when he was sitting down he looked at me and snorted, "That was a really stupid birthday card." I wanted to pummel the snot out of him, but I didn't 🙂

Also, he had sent me an e-mail inviting me to his birthday party and when I said I couldn't come because of church he replied "I don't care anyway, it's not like I wanted to invite you. Grace made me."
That was when all the cuss words came out.

So 6th grade ends. 7th grade begins. I have science 7th period with him. We sat next to each other according to the damn alphabetical seating chart. We then became friends throughout that first 9 weeks.

Then started 2nd 9 weeks and our seating changed. He sat next to Lucia (another "friend" of mine) and I was across the room from him. I think this was where I began developing feelings for him.
I remember asking to borrow his jacket multiple times because I kept forgetting mine and I once smelled the fabric of his jacket.
…
o///o

3rd 9 weeks begin and Jeffery and I sat at the same table again, across from each other instead of next to.
Sometime in late January we emailed each other a lot (even though we could just IM each other XD) and when he was about to go to sleep he was like
"SCROLL DOWN FOR THE SECRET
-insert huge wall of spam-
I like you.
Don't tell anyone else kthnxbai"

I didn't think he was furrealz, but I replied with, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone else. But I think you might have just accidentally told Grace since the original message was from her and it might have automatically sent to her o_O"

Next day at school he was acting kind of awkward while I was trying to act completely normal. I still remember stealing glances at him thinking "HOW DOES THIS GUY LIKE MEE? D:"
When I got home and signed on gmail he automatically chatted me saying "ahem, read ur email thingy :P"
So I checked it and he had sent another message saying "Um…about yesterday. I just like you as a friend. I was just kind of high yesterday" so I was like "oh oaky :D" (at the time I barely even had a crush on him. I was just like "THIS GUY IS COOL TO HANG OUT WITH 8D")
…
THEN COMES THE NEXT DAY ON GMAIL.
We're kind of in the middle of an awkward silence and then he takes 5 minutes typing some paragraph when I logged off.

..Month later I told him I liked him too. And…it was pretty..what's the word…Awkward? Memorable? I don't know, it was just…different XD
We talked on Gmail every single day. Right after I told him I liked him too though, we only conversed through our status XD People would always tell us they find themselves spending hours reading our status conversations :3

So yea. Jeffery was probably one of the happiest months of my life..He was really nice 🙂
When I was out sick (which was the first time ever D:) he made a Get Well card in flash for me XD It made me so happy o///o
Our friends would always pressure him to ask me out though TT-TT I felt bad. I wasn't sure I wanted to date him anyway, because of our religion conflict. (I'm Christian, he's Buddhist.)
He blushes really easily it's so cute <333

But now that he doesn't like me anymore…boo D:
I miss having his thoughtfulness around, especially since it appears that now that Lucia knows Jeffery and I are over, she's beginning to make a move on him…and he's making a move on her.

PICZOR OF PRINCESS JEFFERI <3 (that's what I call him nowadays)

Okay, I'll be truthful, going through all our chats and pictures he sent to me, it made me want to cry. He was really something D: First guy I had EVER confessed to, even if I needed him to confess to me first >_>
I do hope he doesn't feel bad about suddenly telling me he doesn't like me anymore and feeling as if I'm holding him back from liking somebody else…but does it REALLY have to be LUCIA?! OF ALL FUCKING PEOPLE?!
If you don't know who Lucia is, ask Lithy or Pirky.

Sorry, I just went from sad to pissed >_>

I don't know what the point of my blog was, but I still have one message for you guys.
"Don't be sad it's over. Be happy it happened."
I wrote that in my previous blog and now I must add:
"…It's okay to want to cry. It's okay to think back to all those times. But always keep in mind that nothing gold can stay.
And even if nothing gold can stay forever, it will come back some other day."
(If you can figure out where I got part of that quote from you get a cookie…Nass ;))

If you read the whole blog, you are a fucking magical pony <3
And you get a Snowhamster cookie!

<3

Thus ends my 8096 character blog.