Thanks For The Memories…

So.
Oh god, I think I'm crying.

But damn…this was unexpected.

So, as my last couple blogs have been about, this blog will also be about…Jeffery. -sigh-

So basically, December, we readmitted our feelings for each other. >_>"
We never actually got into a relationship. I suppose we were considered a "prelationship" so yeah.

Jeffery is popular. I'm serious. Especially among the ladies. I was kind of fine with it, because he would still talk to me after school, being to shy to talk to me DURING school.

But in February, both of us were losing feelings. Fading slowly. I wasn't supposed to know that he was "fading" though. I accidentally figured it out when one our friends, Sunny, forwarded a chat with him. Our friend meant to be showing that Jeffery was NOT involved with another 7th grader, Kristi. But he forgot that along with asking Jeffery about Kristi, he also asked if Jeffery still liked me, in which he replied with "Don't tell anybody, but I'm slowly fading away DX"

So I guess I was hesitant. But I thought, "Eh. I should let go. We were bound to fade." So that's what I tried! But…it failed. Being the drama queen I am, I cling to every little bit of hope possible. When Jeffery talks to me, I think "Maybe he still likes me?"

But fuck no. I was wrong.

The day before my birthday, he's off flirting with Lucia. I assumed he decided he didn't like me anymore. At least, that's what I told myself. But again, I clung to hope. only to have it crushed once more.

Did you know that Jeffery didn't even know my birthday was the next day? He was told by one of our friends. Funny, isn't it? Ha. Ha.

Yesterday and today, I was pondering on what to do with Jeffery. It seemed apparent he no longer liked me. He said not a single word to me in school. He never talked to me on Gmail anymore. And on the chances that he did talk to me on Gmail, he signed off without saying "gnite" (which was our tradition, along with "sweet dreams" but he stopped saying that a while ago.)

I was thinking, should I let go of Jeffery? But I knew that to do that, I had to confirm there was nothing more between us. And confrontation is awkward. So I was thinking maybe I'll just let us die away, with nothing officially said. But that never goes right. So I was planning on confronting him soon. Maybe during school (yeah right.) or just on Gmail (cowardly way to do it.) After today though, I know I won't need to.

I was at a friend's house, Daniel. He's an avid Starcraft player, and so is Jeffery. They and other friends always go to Daniel's house on Saturdays to play Starcraft. Kristi, the 7th grader I mentioned somewhere above, also enjoys following them, even though she dislikes Starcraft. She's ALWAYS all over Jeffery, thus the reason why one of my friends asked Jeffery about her.

Anyway, I was at Daniel's house later when all the starcrafters left and when I was about to leave, Jeffery chatted Daniel on Gmail. I replied, seeing as Daniel was in the bathroom. Then I scrolled up their conversation (woops. I didn't mean too. I'm all SJHGAJKHF about privacy.) and saw

Jeffery: Oh. Can Kristi come too?
Daniel: Sure. It'll be boring though. Probably only Starcraft.
Jeffery: That's fine. btw, idk if you've figured it out. But Kristi and I are going out xP
Daniel: (a couple minutes later) Fat.

So, being the EFFING IDIOT I am, I typed into the chatbox, "You're going out with Kristi?"

Jeffery: Yeah ._.
Me: -giggles-
Jeffery: ._.
Me: …
Jeffery: So did you see the link in my status?
Me: No. I was too lazy to click it.
Jeffery: …oh.
Me:. …awwkkwaarddd.
Jeffery: …yeah.
~Jeffery goes idle~

I looked up from the computer and looked at Daniel, "…Jeffery and Kristi are going out?" Daniel was the one who told Jeffery when my birthday was, so I wasn't sure if he knew whether or not I still had feelings for Jeffery, "…Yeah. It took me a while to process that."
I did my best attempt at a laugh, "Yeah. It's taking ME a while to process." He continued starcrafting. (sigh)

I walked around his house, waiting for our asian parents to finish talking. Meanwhile, I was busy eating bread thinking, "WHAT. THE. FRESH. BLOODY. HELL?!?!" and doing my best not to cry.

Then I realized, "What the fuck? I don't feel like crying. Or at least, not sobbing and wailing." In fact, after the shock had passed over, I felt so bloody free.
Sure, there was still some sadness inside my heart, but hell. THE NEED FOR A CONFRONTATION WAS GONE.
It was FINAL. There is NOTHING between Jeffery and me anymore.

HAH!

So I went off home, desperate to talk to someone. I texted my friend Monica, kind of in a solemn way (as in with no emoticons), asking her if I could call her. She asked me if anything was wrong, I replied, "I guess."

Monica: Tell me here, I dnt have enough battery to be on the phone 🙁
Me: Charge it.
Monica: I caaannnntt DX
Me: But I don't want to type it out.
Monica: Ok then call me.
Me: But I don't want your phone to die.

A few minutes later my phone rang, it was Monica. "Hello?" Monica's voice came in a soft gentle voice, obviously in comfort mode, "Hi. So what's wrong?" I sighed, realizing that tears were about to come, "Oh I don't know…crap. I'm starting to cry." My voice started breaking, and Monica was obviously freaking out because she knows that when I start crying it's serious business. After all, it was only the 2nd time she heard/saw me crying, the first being because of an injury involving my hip being ripped out from its location.

After I calmed down, I told her about Kristi and Jeffery and she was shocked. Mainly because I hadn't been planning on telling her about how rocky Jeffery and I were. The last time I talked to her about him was 3 or 4 months ago, so after she was up to date she just went "…I'm sorry. I know you liked him for like…" "A year?" I gave a half-hearted laugh.

Eventually, her phone started dying so she hung up, texted me one last time telling me to smile ending with "good night and sweet dreams."

Hell, call me a drama queen, but no one had said "good night and sweet dreams" to me in forever. I always got that from, again, Jeffery.

Wow. I feel like you guys could not care less. If I was reading another member's blog that pertained to this subject, I'd just go "tl;dr" but nonetheless, whether or not you read it, I still feel relieved to have typed this.

Because I have a feeling of freedom in my heart <3
I'm sure that when school starts, my heart will kind of, uh…explode. But, hey. I'll find someone new 😀

As a farewell address to dearest Jeffery, since I know he will never read this:

Thanks for making the most of my time at this school great. I hope we can still be friends (though at this rate, it'll be hard), and that you and Kristi stay together, for good and honest reasons. You seem happy, and not as shy and timid as you were with me. LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

Thus ends the entirely unneeded blog of bull feces.

EDIT: Okay the blog has more to be added. Of course, like I knew deep inside no matter how much I tried to deny it, Jeffery WOULD confront me about him and Kristi being together.

Jeffery: hey
uh
u arent upset about me and kristi going out right?
o-o

Jeffery: okay
sorry if i did anything awkward
><
or if i did make u upset at some point in time
:l
gtg

So it's officially OFFICIALLY over. I BURN. I PINE. I PER– oh screw that shit. I'm discussing this with Sunny. He, not knowing at the time that Jeffery and Kristi are dating, was telling me how Adrian and Samuel (friends of ours, in a rocky relationship due to Adrian's feeling uncomfortable with Kristi jumping all over Samuel) was reassured that she and Samuel could have a firm relationship.
"First, because they actually had a normal conversation. Second, because Kristi liked someone else."
I filled him in about Kristi and Jeffery and he seriously spazzed. "It's funny…The previous predictions of Samuel and Adrian have instead happened upon you….." His predictions were that Kristi and Samuel would shack up and Adrian would be left behind.

Funny. I never realized that. But I'm glad that my already dying relationship could be used to help bandage a wounded one.
-sigh-