Smartphones in Canada? HA! I wish.

Alright. I feel really cuss-y right now. I normally wouldn't litter my blog in curses. So I shall replace them with these * asterisks. I like keeping my blogs nice and clean. Also I don't like swearing too much- real life or on the Internets. It's all informal and stuff and really just unnecessary shit (shit doesn't count as a swear word though). I'm already informal enough and full enough of unnecessary shit- I don't think my blogs need to be any worse. Feel free to replace the asterisks with any word of choice. Hell, it doesn't even have to be curse word, you can use your imagination to fill in the blanks. But really, curses will give it the rant-y feel, so…

Well- greetings folks. The first week of 2011 has just passed. And of course, the only exciting thing to happen last week really was just CES 2011. Hell, even New Years wasn't that exciting. It was so lame for me. But enough of that boring New Years is getting more and more boring shit. I'll leave that for 2012. NO, I have something else to rant about today. (Upon saying today- I looked at the clock and realized it's already 1 a.mm and have noticed that so for all my blogs have been written past 1 a.m. almost 2-ish. How weird.)

What do you intend on ranting about Mr.SolidPig, Sir?
Why hello there italicized sentence which I shall now pretend is another person (It's rather lonely at 1 a.m.). Why, I think the title is self-explanatory!
Why your title seems so interesting! (Not really). Please do tell me more.
Oh strange non-existent person. Why do I imagine thee as an small little curious orphan boy with big blue eyes and a British accent when you talk to me?
What the hell are you talking about…. Mr.SolidPig, Sir?
Oh, but I digress. My story goes a little something like this:

Smartphones have always interested me. For years I have wanted a smartphone but it wasn't until recently that i truly considered one. I could get an unlocked smartphone but that would eat my wallet dry or something like that. The other option would of course be a 3-year plan.
Now, CES 2011 is currently going on now. Over the past 2 days, there have been an endless amount of smartphones, tablets, 3D stuff, and other shit. While, I am technically looking for a laptop, I also kept my eyes peeled for smartphones. And simply to put it, I am not disappoint with the selection of phones.

There were sexy Samsung phones, (a) surprising Sony Ericsson phone, marvelous Motorola phones, Holy-Shit-worthy HTC phones, and a lot of other spectacular shit.
I like what you did there, Mr.SolidPig, Sir
Well… thank you Nigel. I like it too.
They were all coming to different carriers all over the place. Verizon had the upper hand with a bunch of LTE phones. Hell, I don't even really understand LTE but still those phones looked good.

I automatically became envious of these devices. While my current cellphone is actually not that bad and actually kind of nice, it isn't a smartphone. So naturally I was thinking, "When my contract ends, I should go for a smartphone!" Well, that was what I was thinking- more like dreaming. In reality I went- What The ****.

I took a look at at my telecom provider (Rogers)'s phones and I just went ****.
But Mr.SolidPig Sir, I think I'm too young to hear those words. What does **** mean
Shut up Nigel. I'm in a middle of a rant and I'm getting into character.
While technically they did have the iphone 4, I don't want it. See, I don't like that phone and the OS. I like the cute little robot guy. The Blackberry fruit is meh. The bitten-Apple fruit is bleh. Don't get me wrong, I love fruit. I love blackberries and I just ADORE apples. Just not bitten-Apples. And serious Blackberries are serious. And for serious mature-sorta people. I'm not that guy.
I like fruits too, Mr.SolidPig, Sir!
Nigel, I told to shut up.
And also, the other thing that doesn't look like a fruit at all and instead a Window thing is GAHHH. Hey by the way mobile Window thing, where were you at CES? I didn't see you as all! Except once when they were introducing the copy and paste feature.

So I take a look at the phones available and the best one in service is supposedly Android 2.1- The Samsung Galaxy S Captive. Are you serious? Where the **** are the more recent Androids? The 2.2? The 2.3?!/ ****!

So I then take a look at the rival telecom provider, Bell. Not much better. A single Android 2.2- HTC Desire Z. Okay sure. It's alright. But what the ****? No more 2.2 phones? Alright so… the next best is? Android 2.1 (I thinks it's upgraded MAYBE after to numerous delays to 2.2 now)- Samsung Galaxy S. AGAIN? ****! The rest were more or less shit.

See, the HTC Desires is alright. But All my friends who have a smartphone- that is not an iphone- have either a Galaxy S or Desire Z phone. I THOUGHT ANDROID WAS ABOUT CHOICE! Well it sorta still is. I either get a shit phone or the ones everybody else have. The Galaxy S is alright too! It's just so common here. Where's all the special phone the other carriers have? The Nexus S? The Droids? The Evos? The whatever-dual-core-phone-LG-has? WHERE THE **** ARE THEY?
Mr.SolidPig, Sir, I think they're down in the US, Sir.
II told you to SHUT THE **** UP NIGELLLLL!. Why don't you run along now to your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any!
*Cries and disappears into thin air*
I then take a look at the rest of the Canadian carriers. Not a damn thing comparable to the devices in the US. Also, as far as I know, there are no carriers with 4G up here. Perhaps planning to start, but nothing up here. Not that I care too much about 4G. More about the phones. There seems not to be a match against the iphone up here in the north. Phones are just so far behind US carriers it seems up here north. I honestly wish Verizon or Sprint covered Canada.

So know I don't know what to do. Just wait I guess. Hopefully a worthy phone will come along here within a few months. Maybe they just forgot about us up here. Or maybe no one just cares about us up here.

So here begins the waiting for better phones….