So I’ve been meaning to write a blog for… quite some time. If I go over to the blog management tab, There are at least four in-progress blogs that each have maybe around a sentence. Well, finally I’ve decided that before I leave for an upcoming trip that seems to be a lot closer than I thought it’d be, I would at least finish this one. This one is going to be a mix of all the other ones, more or less covering the ideas I wanted to convey.
So what were they all about? They mostly revolved around time.
Though, the first blog was titled, RIP THQ. I was going to do it on January 23, 2013… but alas, I ran out of time. Or so I thought I did. I think you can tell what the message of that blog was going to be.
So, time. It’s weird how it works. There was something about measured time or something in relativity… I’m not sure; I’ve never really paid much attention to physics class. I’m not even exaggerating when I say that I’ve slept through every class in physics. Time passes exceptionally fast when you fall asleep.
It also passes really fast when you’re anticipating something. Like the future, I suppose.
This last year of high school has been a blur. I’ve heard that saying many times by others… but now I’ve come to experience it. And I can’t believe it’s over… especially since it never felt like I lived through it in the first place.
I still remember the start of the senior year where I wasn’t worried about choosing university programs…
And now, the deadline is roughly two weeks away.
I don’t know what happened. I can’t recall what I’ve done in these past few months. When I look back, I can’t point out the things that I’m proud of for doing; rather it’s just all the things that I’ve failed to do. It’s much easier to point out failures than successes. Especially if the ratio is so uneven.
But firstly, university. It’s quite a pivotal point in life. What I decide now can greatly affect what happens in the future. Of course, there are many moments like this. Choosing which program I want to do is just the current one I face.
When I think about the future… it’s almost always confusing. I’m not much of a future guy. While I realize it’s important, I seem to think the most about the present. I suppose it’s only natural since that’s what we’re experiencing. The future always seems so far away and using the present to build up a good future seems… smart, but at the same time it just doesn’t click with me. When wiLL you have the time to live and actually experience things if you’re always concerned about the future? It’s something to consider. The future wiLL eventually become the present, so I guess there’s that. But when that future becomes the present, there’s another future that lies waiting.
I suppose it’s all a balancing act. You shouldn’t have too much of both. But the idea that this choice has so much importance in it… makes it so difficult. It’s something hard to get across the average teenage male whose mind is probably focused on games and sex.
But then I learned about other situations that people have experienced where they weren’t certain about what they wanted to do until they had experienced university. I also learned that its possible to make mistakes about the very topic. And that there’s room for error in university. Maybe your first choice wasn’t the ideal one. Maybe you’ve changed your mind.
It’s not to say that the errors are without it’s costs. There’s a dollar value that’s attached to those mistakes. And, in my opinion even greater, a time value.
But it’s better late than never with these mistakes. Maybe I’m not ready now and I still need some time. Maybe I still need to let myself learn from others. The future is uncertain. I can try to prepare for it, but I suppose I shouldn’t fret as much as I do now. But I shouldn’t just simply toss this away either. That leaves me in a weird position concerning the future.
But how about presently? With high school about to finish, should I not be excited for university life? My friend often tells me about how he’s certain to enjoy the freedom that comes from it and I agree that it’ll be refreshing. I am quite excited I suppose. But it’s impossible to enter this next stage without saying goodbye to the old one. And in this case, it’s high school.
High school wasn’t particularly amazing. There’s nothing too much I’d miss dearly… definitely not certain courses and teachers. And the washrooms.
But there are other things that I’d be reluctant to let go. Like people.
It’s not to say I’d miss every single person… there are those who I am more than happy to never see again. But the there are others who… I feel I haven’t spent enough time with. People whom I discovered a little too late into high school. People who I don’t quite want to leave. And yet, I have to since our paths will be different.
Upon realizing this… I finally gave in. People ask me why I got Facebook so late into high school, just as it was ending. And to the many people who have asked me, and who will ask me, I’ll keep telling them that I felt like I needed it for notes to study for my final exams.
But the real reason has nothing to do with notes… though they proved useful. I finally recognized why people use Facebook and other social media and adopted it myself. It only took several years for me to see it, and then the realization that there would be many good people I would lose. I didn’t want that. Not again.
It still bothers me that I won’t be seeing some of these people face to face ever again. But this is better than nothing I suppose.
The question is, how long wiLL it last? The issue once again lies in time. Nothing lasts forever. It’ll only be a matter of time before people stop using Facebook. It might not be anytime soon, maybe in many decades to come.And furthermore, they may move on to other networks that provide the same function, but more efficiently. But as time passes… connections might become severed.
Take for instance this site. Or rather, MMOtales. For those who remember, the site slowly shrank until it was closed down. In fact, I didn’t even know the closure until months, maybe years after it closed down. And then I was lost. Until I found this place. I’m not even sure how.
But this place… VuTales… how long wiLL it last? WiLL people remember to visit this site and write blogs in 5 years? 10? 15? 20? I honestly hope so. But, I have no idea because it all depends on our situations in the future. Maybe we’ll forget. Or maybe we’ll be just too damn lazy to write… like what I did for the past several months. Admit it, sometimes you come here planning to write something, but it never comes through. it becomes almost a mission to write a blog.
I can promise this though, I’ll make my best efforts to come back here well into the future. This place… is special. I’m sure we can all agree on that. I have no qualms about exposing my mind in this small community here… and yet it’s something that I couldn’t easily do to people I know. I’m not sure how to feel if someone I know was able to link these blogs back to me. I’m not known to be all serious and stuff; I’m a joker. These blogs wouldn’t even seem to be written by me.
But yea, the future is a scary place. The most friendly, I suppose would be the past where everything has passed and only exists as memories. Or maybe scars. Or maybe doesn’t exist at all in the mind because we can’t recall it. Feeling like happiness don’t last indefinitely in the present. We constantly experience new situations where, when they pass, we can classify them into a feeling. Maybe it brought happiness; it’s a source of happiness we can constantly rely on. I suppose that’s why the past makes up all of our experience. It accumulates there so we can recall it in the future, or present.
And of course, memories are easily recalled with photos. I suppose that’s why social networking sites are so popular; sharing memories and all that stuff. I guess I just was really late on that. I was too busy hating on Facebook to see it’s purpose… but I still don’t like it. But photography as a hobby, suddenly just became that much more important.
As a kid, I wanted the future to arrive as fast as possible. I wanted more responsibilities such as being able to drive a car, drink, or gamble. And now that it’s become a reality, all I really want is to live and experience this. I don’t want time to move by so quickly anymore. I want to gather up those experiences because I know one day, far into the future where I’ve accumulated so much experience and where the present is not as full with opportunity as I have now, I’ll be looking at the past and recounting memories for that sense of happiness.
That’s why I’m not as concerned about the future as I feel I ought to be… and I’m not too conflicted about it as I’m busy living the present. I can’t ignore the future and I’d better prepare, but I like the present more.
Oh, I feel the need to post some kind of gaming related thing in this blog too, otherwise it just wouldn’t do.
So how’s this, just a friendly reminder: The Last of Us on June 14 2013. Definitely excited for this one… even if it’s so far into the future… but it’ll pass quickly.
So tell me something… how was your experience transitioning from high school into whatever you decided to do? Maybe it’ll help me.
And I’m sure this long blog wiLL make up for the period of time in between this and the next one. I don’t know when I’ll write the next one and what my situation wiLL be like then and there. But I’ll definitely be back to write one… I just don’t know how many accumulated potential blogs it’ll be representing.
Until then,
Cheers.