Okay, uhm, blog 2?

I've been having impulses to tell someone about my past for a while, but I don't really have a friend I can trust. Actually, I can't trust anyone I know. Since I don't exactly know you guys its okay for me to tell you, right?

The dividers are great, btw.
Well, its basically just two things that I can actually remember well. They influenced me more than anything else, too.

My mother.. She has a chain of car crashes that happen once every four years. It gets worse each time, trust me, I know. I've been in 3/4 of them. The latest one happened about two years ago, if I remember correctly. My mom was driving me to a badminton lesson to substitute for my sister, since she didn't want to go that day, and we can't cancel the teacher without still paying for the lesson. I think we were running late that day or something, or else she couldn't possibly have crashed. My dad was doing something, I don't remember that either anymore.

Alright, that day she had said that she was tired. Usually we just think it's not a big deal since it happens all the time. Well, when a normal person says it nobody cares either. So we're going along and I fall asleep in the front seat, next the the drivers one. I have a habit of sleeping in a car, no matter the circumstances. I end up waking up from a small bump, and then a split second later we crash into one of those big steel poles in the middle of a highway. Being the idiot of a child that I was, I had made the chair bend all the way backwards, in other words as far as it could go. Well, this could be why I didn't end up dying from the car's airbag. My body instinctively curled up, so fast that the seat-belt left a burn mark on my neck. I was worried for my mom too, but I thought that I saw her arm in front of me, maybe telling me that she was alright. After the crash I asked her about it, but she denied her doing of it at all. I'm still not sure what it was.

Anyway, the pole that we ended up crashing into broke and fell on the other side of the road, luckily for us. Nobody got hurt except for me and my mom too, so that was a plus. Pretty sure one of the people in the cars behind us called 911, I was too busy running for the side-walk and trying to persuade her not to go back to the car to get some stuff. A guy had told me that the car could explode at any minute from the oil leaking out from under the car, and I was afraid. She went anyway though, but the car didn't explode. Thank god.

A couple days later, my dad went off to check on the car. It was totaled. Completely unrepairable. He said something interesting though; that my side of the car was actually broken worse than my mom's side. It was weird because she ended up having to go through X-rays and things even though I didn't have to, and in all was in a worse condition. Oh yeah, there wasn't any blood or anything, so don't worry. The both of us had to stay at the hospital for the entire day, well, I had to since nobody could pick me up. I felt guilty too, since I might have been able to stop the crash if I had been awake to stop my mom.

They ended up coming late, sometime after the sky turned dark. (That's around 8-ish, I think) It was like six hours or so after the crash. I was practically next to my mom's bed the entire time, the nurses brought me food. I'm amazed that I remember so many details about the crash in itself, but I guess it was just the adrenaline rush. The doctor said that my mom had to stay for a while longer, to come back the day after. I wanted to stay with her, but my dad persuaded me to go back home. One of my sisters and her boyfriend stayed behind though, so I could leave without a worry. Her boyfriend's a medical student or something.

Now that I think back, it wasn't as traumatizing as someone would think. Huh. Anyway, nothing really bad happened after that. My mom came back, I had to put on this lotion that felt like it burned when it was put on my neck for a couple days to stop the burn. It worked. My mom promised to not drive for the rest of her life, but that's useless now since she drives regularly. Well, she did stop for a couple months. That in itself is a feat.

Kay, onto the second thing.

I have two sisters. One of em's in university, while the other is still in high school. They're both perfectionists and straight A students. They get into fights more than normal, and most of the time their pride stops them from reaching a good solution. Well, they treat me well enough. I'll call them 'Alice' for the older, and 'Mira' for the second one, just so its not that confusing for you guys.

Mira was always the lazy type. She did amazingly well in school though, even with little effort. She had expectations from the teachers because of Alice, Alice was the diligent type, always getting good marks with an easy-to-get-along-with personality. Both me and Mira hated it. Alright, at about grade 8 or so, Mira stopped going to school as often as she used to. She overslept and couldn't go since the school was far away, but still could get a good mark for a while. Later on in the grade she got worse and worse.

Alright, lets time-skip to Grade 9. Here, she barely goes to school. Almost every day she stays at home. This is when she says she has a anxiety problem that started off from a simple rivalry with her friends. Grade 10, she changes her school. For the first couple of weeks she goes every day, but then as time went on she reverted back.

Halfway through the grade, she locks herself in the room and refuses to go to school. She also swallows 20 of my mom's sleeping pills. I'm not sure what happened with this, since I was at school. I only know what my family tells me. Anyway, I think Alice called 911 for the firefighters. When they came, Mira came out of her room quite quickly. They took her to a hospital to get the pills out. She wasn't in a bad condition when I went to visit her a couple hours later.

I have a gap in my memory after this, the next thing is that a psychologist comes to our house to talk to my sister. For a couple sessions she stops going to that too, pretending to sleep while they came. A couple weeks after this she was transferred to a mental hospital for about three months or so. My parents went to visit every day, while I was too busy and went once or twice a week. You could say that she got better, but she didn't ever want to go to school. She and the rest of the patients had a teacher from inside the hospital, so it was alright.

To sum it up, Mira didn't go to school after this too. The doctor told us to make her go, but I told my parents to say no. I knew exactly what she was going through since she only talked to me during her time. The doctor offered the spot in the hospital two more times and was refused, so she stopped doing anything. Somehow Mira ended up going to a school for mental people, they really only accept ten people. She actually went to this school, probably because she knew two of the people in there from the hospital. She talks a lot about what happens every day, most of the time just complaints about cooking and washing the dishes afterwords.

Shes fine now, and going to school at the right time on a deal with my parents. Actually, shes still going to this mental school, but she'll switch next year. For some reason she can still do grade 11 without restriction even though she practically missed all pf grade 9 and 10, but she does have to do most of her courses really quickly for exams.

Sorry that I had to rush, I have to go to drawing class in a couple minutes and I want to finish this before I go. Uhm, thanks for reading it. Finally got that off of me.