OMGAH.

I AM BACK.
But not happy.
I haven't been gone, I just haven't gone on VuTales for a couple of months.
Maybe I've been too busy worrying about my first day of HIGH SCHOOL.
*dun dun dun…..!*

Yes, I'm scared, scared SHITLESS, scared out of my MIND.
I don't know why, maybe because of the new people, or maybe because its high school.

High school as earned a reputation as being scary, and I believe it. People can beat you up, make you do something against your will (INITIATION), or just intimidate you for being, well…you! As a guy, you have the fears of other senior guys beating you up because your scrawny, or girls rejecting you. As a girl, you have the fears of being beat up by other senior GIRLS, or a guy not liking you. Basically the same things but anyways…

First of all, my lunch period is in second period, the first lunch of the day.
Second, it gets worse, I have period 2 lunch in second semester too.
Third, none of my closest (or anyone else for that matter…) are in the same lunch period as me! My friend for 5 years is in one of classes for each semester, thank god, but not my lunch. My newest but also one of the BEST friends that I have, is nnot in any of classes, or lunches. We won't see each other for the whole year.
Yay me.

I feel like CRYING. No friends in my lunch period, and my best friend has no classes with me. I know I have to and I'm going to make new friends, but still… can I have a bit of both…? Old friends AND new friends?
I know I sound like I'm going to die, and I don't want to be nervous starting at a new school. But I can't help it. It HIGH SCHOOL.

Bad Possibilities: (that I'm not necessarily saying I'm going to do or that its going to happen)

1) Someone can pressure me into doing drugs, smoking, or drinking.
2) I can go too far with a boy. (which my brother won't let me do obviously.)
3) I can make the worst mistakes that I know I don't want to happen.
4) I can turn into those PRISSY, GIRLY, BITCHY, girls that I see everyday walking down the street everyday, talking to their boyfriend, making out in public, with their butt sticking out of their shorts.

I'm not trying to be judgmental, and I want to trust myself, but its hard. My brother gave me advice, my mom gave me advice (She saw a guy on TV saying how all these years he "played it safe in school" , and she turns to me and says, Yeah, see, play it safe! With this weird smile…..), my family and friends gave advice, but for some reason, I'm just not accepting it….

~spigurl </3