Farmville?

So I'm living 20 minutes outside of a town of 4,000 while I do my co-op. Here are a few observations about the REAL Farmville (not the city's actual name).

1) At any given moment, there are at least 2 corn fields within a mile of your current location.

2) If you are late for work, you can pretty much do whatever speed you want because there are no cops out in the boonies (town is full of them). HOWEVER, Murphy's Law still applies, and instead of hitting every stop light (of which there are none), you will be confronted with a mile-long train of tractors going 10mph in a magical no pass zone.

3) Everyone here believes American and Mexican are two real languages.

4) "I believe in religious freedom as long as that religion is Christianity.*"

5) Walmart has replaced the mall as the teen hang out.

6) Friday nights mean high school football. The whole area is a ghost town.

7) The female attractiveness distribution is roughly 60% incest ugly, 30% decent, and 10% HOT DAMN. Incidentally, the chances of said female (I'm talking about late teens, early twenties) having a baby is pretty similar (i.e. 60% of incest ugly have babies), except pretty much every decent looking girl either has a child or is with one.

8) The moment the sun comes with twenty degrees of the horizon, the ground brakes loose and swarms of insects zerg rush at your front bumper and windshield.

*Nascar is also an acceptable religion, although it is generally accepted as a subset of Christianity.