HOW TO FILM AN AWARD-WINNING MOVIE

If you read this guide and follow EVERY STEP, you will have the world's best movie in SECONDS. No shit. Serious.

CHARACTER

Your character is either a normal guy who has a normal job who is sent on some hugeass adventure or some teenager/preteen kid who has secret powers/is the child of a god and for some damn reason their mom didn't tell/is some part of an ancient prophecy.

Even if the movie is based on a book where the character is ugly as fuck, you will have your character played by the hottest actress out there. No exceptions.

PLOT

IF the character is a normal guy, he will get a new job somewhere/go on a vacation somewhere/just fucking go somewhere and at first it will seem normal or maybe it will be fucked up from the start. After a while it will get more fucked up, and then he will meet a female character who is totally not right for him and they will save the day.

IF the character is a Mary-Sue kid, they will discover their powers and have to use them against either a villain or some shitty-ass thing happening to the world that would fuck everyone over if the Mary-Sue kid didn't use their powers against it. Since Mary-Sue kid was hated, underestimated and/or shunned for no reason before this, now that they are a hero, everyone likes him/her.

ENDING

Normal guy runs off with the female protagonist that is totally not right for him and they fuck off-screen or on-screen if it's an R movie. Then they get married and have a baby or some shit. No matter how incompatible the two characters are, they will always become a couple. ALWAYS. ALWAAAAAAAAAAYS!

And if there are TWO female protagonists and TWO male protagonists that were originally couples, they will switch girlfriends because "they weren't right for each other" and Female Protagonist 1 will run off with Male Protagonist 2 and have a better life than Male Protagonist 1 and Female Protagonist 2, but Male Protagonist 1's reason for sacrificing the good life is some shitty sentimental reason that makes no sense.

Don't think either of these happen?
TESTICULAR/LULZMAYAKII/SOFIA'S LIST OF SHITTY MOVIE COUPLES THAT SHOULDN'T HAPPEN BUT THEY HAPPENED. YES I KNOW THESE ARE ALL FROM KIDS' MOVIES SHUT UP I'VE ONLY BEEN ALLOWED TO SEE ANYTHING 14-A AND OVER FOR LIKE A YEAR 🙁
Skeethead or whatever and Hippie Cougar Chick from Bedtime Stories.
Larry the Security Guy and Amelia Earhart from Night at the Museum 2. Did I mention that his last end-of-movie girlfriend from the previous one hasn't even been mentioned in this one? What a fucking player.
Edward and Bella from Twilight. In fact, they shouldn't have even been born. Fuck, this movie shouldn't even have been MADE. I mean, really.

Anyways.

Bella Swan Mary-Sue kid will become notable and probably find a boyfriend/girlfriend to forget about in the sequel.

IF YOU FOLLOW ALL THESE STEPS YOU WILL HAVE AN AWARD-WINNING PG-RATED MOVIE IN MINUTES!