TESTICULAR GOES SKIING

Well, as the title says:

I went skiing for electives. Today wasn't exactly the best day to go skiing, seeing as the snow was fresh and really, really deep. Sounds good, right? No. No it's not.

For the lesson we were all told to go down this black diamond hill called "bomber", and it's not named that for no reason.

Normally, I got that shit on lock. It's all just turns left and right. Not today.

The snow was so deep, it was pretty much impossible to stop, slow yourself, or turn on a steep hill. So of course, I did as the name of the hill suggests, and I bombed.

I still got my blue sticker. The skiing instructor referred to me as "that redheaded girl who bombed" after that. My hair isn't red, it's mahogany. (as of two Saturdays ago) 🙁

Some boys told me to go on Bomber with them again. I was doing pretty fine until all of a sudden, I slip and I start skiing down on my ass before my skis come off. I look behind me and all of the boys bombed too. So yeah. They didn't give me shit. At least I got farther than them.

Some kid who didn't get his blue sticker asked me to sneak him some ski poles, so I did. We kinda acted like it was a drug deal when all I was doing was handing him some ski poles.

And then this jackass Sean starts yelling insults at me on the chairlift, so I, of course, being the queen of great comebacks, hit him right back. The three other people on the chairlift just stared at me and started remarking about how disses are nothing like what they were in the old days.

Then that jackass Sean starts yelling at me again when I'm going down the hill so I, being an expert skier and all, manage to go down the hill AND flip him the bird at the same goddamn time. Uh huh. No, you can't have my autograph.

Then that kid I smuggled ski poles to and I go down a hill, and I decide to go up what I think is another hill attached to this hill. Well, fuck no, apparently it's private property. This pissy guy yells it right at me and I try and stop myself mid-hill to get off, and well, I wiped. And then he's like, "SEE?!"

So this other lady helps me get up, and I get my skis on, and five seconds later… DAFSGLFSDAGK.

My ski was apparently not on, and I assplant once more.

annnnd then it's time to go.

Oh, and also, I bought a shirt off hottopic.com.

That's right. I can't just take a ten-minute drive to the mall to buy a Hollywood Undead shirt from Hot Topic. It's either a two and a half hour drive across the border (and hell knows how long crossing the border will take) or a week's wait from the mail.

I hate living in Canada.