I'm such a goddamn jerk.

So my friends and I decided we'd all go down to Booty Bay to celebrate something in WoW. As we planned this, some "Manarkii", a level 34 warlock dude, asked if he could come, so we're just like "k…"

So we go down to BB and he says "ANYONE GOT SOLID STONES" (Goddamnit, he could out-Caps Lock me).

We didn't have any.

So he said "GAY FAGGS" and then proceeded to spam Rain of Fire on our picnic basket and attempt to pull monsters 5 levels above him to us.

Then he begins to spam an ASCII machine gun and the Horde to Alliance letter chart. So I'm like, "Hey man, want the secret buff potion?"

So he's like "ya"

I give him 20 pygmy oils and he drinks every single one. When he turns into a gnome, he says "wats this spell". I told him it's "the secret spelll."

I tell him in order to make the secret spell work, he must also read a certain book. I gave him A Steamy Romance Novel, since that and the Lament were the only books I had in my inventory.

He reads it and says "weres the spell"

I give him a present box with knitted sandals and say "Now wear these shoes, spin around three times, and yell THE GAME."

He does so and then I throw a jack o' lantern at his head and say "You now have a pumpkin head."

He starts to spam the machine gun again and whispers me saying "YOU CAN GO FUCCK YOUR MMOOMY" and "YOU BELONG IN A MENTAL HOSPITSL ALONG WITH YOUR SONS OR MOM". I don't have any sons. 🙁

We move to the area of level 45 naga.

He follows and dies two times.

Then the treasure box is placed in the arena so we go. I tell Manarkii to follow us to get the treasure! 😀

I guide him through the naga to the arena. He runs in and we /gkick him and gank him.

He runs in again and my buddy Deminth kills him. I whisper him and say "Sorry, Deminth is a butt :("

So this time we lie down and pretend to be dead with a frost trap inbetween us. I say "Hey man, that glowing thing in the center is the treasure!"

So of course, our dear buddy Manarkii jumps down and runs into the trap, only to have us jump up and kill him again.

This goes on for about thirty minutes before we go back to our picnic, with Manarkii at our side of course.

Now he asks how to get to Outland. My friend Kel tells him to go to Stormwind. I say "yeah, you gotta ask the king if you can go."

So we tell him if he yells "L T a a F" in Stormwind, he'll get a dragon mount.

L T a a F translates to N I G G A in Common.

He dies at around Goldshire and d/cs, losing us much lulz.

Still, it was pretty damn awesome if you ask me.

tl;dr: I spent two hours being a fucking Schadenfreude and busting some noob's armour.