Can’t even deal

I just wanted to type up a huge ranty blog early in the morning because a lot of stuff has happened and it makes me want to fling myself off a building.

Flatmates are freaking crazy

I complained about my flatmates lightly in my last blog but I’m going all out on this one. Today I brought my boyfriend back to my accommodations so I could cook for him and spend time together. Two of my flatmates were in there, one of them was carving a really cool pumpkin. They exchanged glances and Oswald (changed his name) the blonde guy doing Scandinavian studies just asked, “Trina, did you hear any shouting just now?”

It happens that the German exchange student Fabio (changed to not even a German name) and Med student Hannelore (QC anyone?) had a screaming match in the kitchen just half an hour earlier. Bearing in mind that half an hour ago my boyfriend and I were having really loud sex, I just shrugged and was glad we had someone else making noise to drown us out (ONLY NOT REALLY MORE ON THIS LATER).

Oswald said that Hannelore was sick of Fabio using her kitchen utensils and not washing them afterwards and Fabio was fiercely denying it, pretending to not understand English and being really aggressive. Hannelore flew off the handle and started swearing and insulting Fabio, who very clearly did not take it well. He threatened that if Hannelore called him a cunt again he would slap her, girl or not. Not being one to back down, Hannelore called him a fucking cunt and Fabio responded by pushing her.

Of course I found this absolutely unacceptable. While I am much closer to Fabio than I am to my other flatmates, I can believe that he would do that sort of thing. While he boasts about being much older and mature than the rest of us, he really sucks at handling conflict and gets stirred up into stupid revenge schemes. Shoving smaller girls, which he claims is acceptable in his culture, is not okay with me. I would feel really intimidated if a 6ft guy pushed me, being exactly 5ft, and the situation is even worse when we’re living together!

Fabio could actually get into a lot of trouble for this, if Hannelore reports it. While Fabio hangs out with me when I’m actually in halls a lot, I don’t really appreciate his company a lot as he doesn’t seem like a dependable person. I constantly have tests and coursework so when I tell him I need to study, he asks for five minutes of my time and it drags on to an hour. This annoys me to the point where I can spend over five hours in the library just catching up on work because I’m not able to do anything in my room.

Boyfriend goes home and I start stressing out about halloween plans, missing lectures last Thursday, calculation tests and everything under the sun. By this point I have forgotten about the argument and just doing coursework. Fabio randomly facebook messages me asking if I’m in my room. I respond with yes, but I need to study. He asks for five minutes again and I literally want to throw myself under a bus because I’ll get more work done that way.

Knock on the door. Fabio comes in with a sad expression on his face.

“I have had the worst day,” he explains, “also Mercedes said your boyfriend sounds like a monkey when he’s having sex.”

Fuck you Mercedes (real name because I don’t like her). Explain that boyfriend makes 0 sex sounds and the monkey sounds was probably because I was tickling him to the point where he cried before the sex. He said something mean so he genuinely deserved to be tickled in bed. Why are our walls paper thin? This is why I’m moving to another halls oh my god.

Fabio spins his tale of sheer woe, leaving out his physical intimidation tactics. Turns out it was over a baking tray and Hannelore swears like a sailor. Both of them fail to realise that it’s just a baking tray! JUST A SHEET OF METAL YOU PUT IN THE OVEN????????? Fabio accuses Hannelore of whoring around because she had a one night stand. Hannelore accuses Fabio of being a manwhore for sleeping with a fellow flatmate. Neither of them realise that I have the most sex in the flat and their arguments are no longer about the baking tray.

Fabio tells me about his sex life, makes comments on the sex noises of Japanese and Chinese girls, tells me I don’t need to wear makeup and leaves.

This is even more ridiculous once I type it out

Onwards to fucking Mercedes.

Mercedes is a huge bitch. On my first day of knowing her, she told me people with acne shouldn’t count as people. She bitched about her friend to a random stranger, calling her friend a fake and a poser for wanting to change her name in uni. The stranger replied that a lot of people want to refresh their identity in uni and it’s honestly not that strange. She bitches about the stranger not agreeing with her and making her feel bitchy and gossipy.

She stalked my boyfriend on FB and said, “Trina why are you dating him? You’re so (positive adjective about face) whereas (boyfriend’s name) is just so… (boyfriend’s name).”

I’m not good at confrontation so I just shrugged it off. I’m just happy that when Mercedes was bitching about boyfriend’s adorable ticklish monkey noises in the kitchen, Hannelore stuck up for him and said “Stop it, I’m sure he’s a really nice guy”.

I’m not siding with either Hannelore or Fabio in this situation. I’m just annoyed that everyone isn’t trying to co-exist. Fabio shouldn’t have threatened Hannelore, Hannelore shouldn’t have accused and swore at Fabio, both of them were in the wrong for not handling the situation as best as they could.

I’m moving out this Saturday to a catered hall where there will be no fights over kitchen utensils. Bliss!

Cheer

Cheerleading is stressing me out. It creates a conflict in my schedule- I have French lessons scheduled at the exact same time as cheer and honestly I would rather be flying than bore myself for two hours learning this language. At least there is a sense of achievement with cheer whereas with French I feel bored even as I am doing things correctly. It’s just not new and fresh material!

Unfortunately I bruised my ribs quite badly on my first session so I skipped for two weeks. When I came back to the session on Sunday, I was really unprepared. I had never flown with so many bases (people carrying the girl in the air) since I’ve only done two man flying and an experienced base came up to me and said, “Is this your first time flying? No offence, it just seems that way.” I was kind of pissed off. I learnt some difficult skills in my first session that I couldn’t apply as well in this one. It was literally my first time doing this thing and I was trying to learn it as quickly as possible. I already told everyone at the beginning I hadn’t done this type of routine before so her comment threw me a bit.

Towards the end it was fine. I am very short and therefore lighter in comparison with the other flyers, so it’s easier for the bases to lift me and do the really difficult skills. I ended up getting along with the girl who asked me that question and the other bases really well, and made friends with the other flyers. I stayed back with one of the girls who was basing and practiced tumbling and gymnastics. She’s really good at it, I am really terrible at it. Luckily there were a few cheerleaders who stayed behind, including one dubbed the ‘Gymnastic god’ and he actually helped me out a lot with my cartwheels and hand stands 🙂

The sad reality of being small and not muscly is that I can barely support my weight on my toothpick arms, so I have to gain strength quickly to push myself more.

I woke up today sore all over, which is the best kind of pain! Unless you wanted to do Muay Thai the next day, which I did. Then not even being able to lift your leg to kick isn’t very good at all.

Boyfriend

Things have been getting more difficult. We just don’t have that much time to spend with each other and when we do, we just have sex and I cook him food and he goes back home. I don’t feel like we are getting closer and he doesn’t open up to me well. I just feel like our conversations are so empty, he says things like “I’m never tired”, “I’m always happy” and the furthest he goes to elaborate on a situation is “it’s just one of those things”. It frustrates me a lot. I talk a lot, he doesn’t. When he does tell me an anecdote from his day or just speaks without using those meaningless phrases I really listen, because it is rare for him to do that.

Sometimes I get so frustrated about it all, because trying to pry absolutely anything personal out of him is exhausting. He cried once and told me that he feels that he can’t live up to my expectations. I felt really horrified. I do expect a lot from him. In this way we are incompatible, because I am always expecting more and more whereas he is more easily satisfied. I stress out and get emotional, he is calm and stoic. It frustrates me because I don’t understand him and I frustrate him when I cry.

Despite this, I am happy. I care about him a lot and it will take time to adjust to uni life coming between our relationship. He makes time to spend with me at least once a week. Still, sex and food is getting boring. There must be a more meaningful way for us to spend time together. However we don’t have very much in common at all. Our backgrounds, culture and interests are very different. My mother warned me about this, but of course I didn’t care. I’m beginning to see how it matters now, just a little bit. I don’t really know what to do.

MCM expo

On Saturday, I went to london comic con on Saturday! My uni friend cosplays as Miku and she lent me her kimono so I could have something to wear. I met a lot of new people <3 I bought an adorable cat instead of an alpaca 🙂 So cute <3 <3 <3

We all received a lot of compliments on our cosplays/outfits and took tons of pictures with people, so it was a really fun day. We went out to a chinese restaurant and spent half an hour in the bathroom taking everything off. I don’t think the staff liked cosplayers very much since they were quite rude. My friend from cheer invited me to go to a Japanese Halloween party but I just didn’t feel up to it after waking up at 6am. I think he was kind of disappointed because he tried really hard to convince me to go.

My flatmates had organised a flat party and I knew some of the people there, so I started talking to them. Then randomly my flatmates all vanished, leaving me as the only person who actually lived in the flat to entertain a bunch of random strangers. I started a game of Ring of Fire and it was fun, but honestly if my flatmates were going to invite their friends over, they should have the responsibility of looking after their guests. It was even more embarrassing when their guests started to wonder where they had gone.

I started to become good friends with two of the people from Pharmacy my flatmate had invited. They told me they had felt a bit left out originally which honestly shouldn’t have happened if we had been okay hosts. Later on I found out through Mercedes that the flatmate who had invited them and two others she was closer to had just ditched them and gone to her room by herself because she had “forgotten how annoying they were”. The two I was close to are so laid-back, they aren’t annoying at all. Turns out the rest of my flatmates had gone to smoke weed next door.

I was up until 4am which meant I was super cranky and not my usual self for cheer because I was so tired and slightly hungover 🙁 It was nice to get to know two more people from pharmacy though 🙂

THIS BLOG IS LONG AS HECK

I am very sorry!
I will regret anger-blogging at 3am instead of sleeping in approximately four hours 🙁 Luckily I only have three lectures tomorrow 🙂 AND GYMNASTICS FML

TL;DR: Flatmates want to kill each other, I’m sick of it. Boyfriend troubles, advice please Hope everyone had a good weekend!

EDIT: Gaming-wise, I just played Five Nights at Freddy’s today I almost peed myself