Pets Of The Neo

The pets of the neo! No this isn’t another work of complete and utter fiction. But I will be doing a blog a day or at least try to do a blog a day.

They are legendary creatures that roam an imaginary cyber world. They range from normal looking wolf-dogs to weird giraffe/goat hybrids. My OLDER brother can’t get enough of the the little tykes and keeps trying to convince me to join him in which we can share our fruity love of retarded-looking creatures together and skip and frolic in a field of flowers and a sky full of rainbows and sunshine!

I’m talking about Neopets, you queefs.

Sure, they may have been like…the SHIT when I was like…5. But I’m not 5 anymore. I’m 20 muthafuckin’ years old, people. With a job. And a boyfriend whom I actually have sex with. I’m not one of those douchebag losers who claim to do it but have probably never touched a sexual part in their lives besides their own. No, I’m FO REAL.

My older brother, who’s 23, keeps trying to convince me to join. EVERY DAY, he’s pestered me about it. When I get home from work, I just want to sit down with some brownies and milk, watch some pornyoutube (lolpoptartcatarly), type up a blog or two, and RELAX. Not have some half-brained fuck face constantly bombard me with reasons why being on Neopets at his age doesn’t make him like a total child molester or some shit when it totally does.

I AIN’T TRYING TO BE CONVICTED OF NO CHILD MOLESTATION AND BE THROWN IN JAIL OVER HIS FRUITY ANIMAL FANTASIES.

No, but he’s pretty fucking annoying to the point where he stuck his finger in my face and said that STUPID: “I’m not touching you!” BULLSHIT. I just wanted to jump on top of him and maul his fingers with my teeth like some rabid animal and rip them off in some bloody hot mess.

“THERE motherfucker. Now you’ll never be able to touch me. Cumbucket.”

Anyway, he’s been totally obsessed with them. Which is funny because he’s like on the phone, chatting up with his girlfriend (who has a job and is taking care of HIS ass when it’s clearly supposed to be the other way around seeing as she has a kid by some guy old enough to be her daddy when she’s only like 2 years older than I am) and he’s trying to be all cool and macho man for her.
I mean SUREEEE, I like pokemon and shit. I like the digimons and the cartoons. But they are hell of a lot cooler than neopets.

But hey, what the fishsticks? I might give it a whirl for old time’s sake. MIGHT being the key word here, folks.

5:16PM

Okay, so I got home and I’m SHIT TIRED.
I ate some rice and beans. Then I turned my computer on and I’m watching Aliens VS Predator videos.
I’m super full now.

My boyfriend still hasn’t called. I don’t know where we’re at right now. I don’t know if we’re a couple or not anymore, so meh.
My brother isn’t here because he’s at the gym, thank God.

There’s gonna be a thunderstorm tomorrow. That depresses me.

My boob itches.

Lastly: Spade fails at boat relations. I mean relationboats…or some shit like that.

‘Till next time!

~ Jaz