One step forward, 2 steps back
No time to fight, ignite, attack
Use a potion, go on, you’re stacked
You still will never win
This boss is mean, and green: obscene
One by one he rapes your team
But you can heal…that’s all, it seems
You’re probably gonna lose
You can heal, get hurt, then heal
Your “Final Fantasy” just got real
And when you cast Revive, you’re sealed
It’s safe to say you’re done
But when you’ve bought this many items
There’s no doubt you think you can fight him
but weak team members? No way to hide em’
They go down one by one
And now your Warrior’s standing alone
The rest of the party got freakin’ owned
And once you accept it you’re out of your zone
“Dammit…I lost”
Well, not gonna lie it sucks to be you
But it’s a video game, what can you do
Turn off the power and try in a few
And you know… Expect to be stuck on that boss for months until you Google how to beat him and it turns out there’s a really lame way to exploit his AI or some shit that completely ruins the immersion and experience and probably get spoiled in the process. Yep… That RPG Boss downward spiral thing…
~Waffle
8 Comments
This is a pretty straightforward 5 minute poem. Titled: “That RPG Boss downward spiral thing”
You know when you’re fighting a boss and you’re getting owned so bad you can never attack only heal. That’s all there is to it. I’d rather keep the Dr. Seuss nature of my poems alive, I got deeper stuff but these were always my favorites to write.
The return of waffle 🙂
I liked it.
Waffle has returned, my wish has come true! Now, uh, I kinda don’t know what to do.
Get MSN or Skype or something!
Pretty cool bro
All hail the glorious Waffle.
For he has come back to save our sinning souls.
am I the only one who thought of Theory of a Dead Man when I read that first line?
Now that you mention it.