Cold air never felt so good

Woa, I havent been on here in ages. I've even been on FACEBOOK more than here *is totally ashamed of self*
A lot has been happening in the last few days for me.

I hastily moved out of the place i was living at with that fat drunk asshole room mate. I hope that guy burns. Pretty much someone in my mom's boyfriend's family offered to let me live at their house all the way on the other side of town (50km away from maple ridge, and still 40km away from my school), and with nowhere else to go, i packed up my things, my mom had to cram it all into the van instead of her bf's truck (idk why) and got mad at me for having too much stuff and causing her stress and worry by living at that crap hole in the first place.

The place was a shit hole. Taps were busted, microwave couldn't even cook popcorn, and the burners on the stove took forever to heat up. Pretty much the whole place was run down because the landlords won't renovate it and just rent the rooms out to assholes and douche bags.

I moved cause i got really freaked out one night- it was Boxing Day night and i got home. my room mate came home piss drunk and started yelling and throwing shit, and being one with anxiety and a seething hatred for angry drunks, especially this piss head, I just holed up in my room. Then he started coming up to my door and tried to open it by jiggling the knob. (the door was already busted since he broke into my room before and looked up pron on my computer when i was away.)
I got really freaked out and i ended up barricading the door with this piece of shit couch in my room that not even a Walmart in Etheopia would sell. I swear it was pillows stapled to plywood.

So the next day I packed up all my things, and spent the rest of the holidays at my mom's house in maple ridge and the day before new years eve, we drove back and packed all my things. there was no space, not even for ME! So i took the bus back to her house and spend the evening and next day (yesterday) sorting and taking half of my stuff to value village that i wasnt even using. And later I just chilled at the laundromat and chowed on this drool-inducingly Awesome donair from this place called Donair City. Soooooooo good 😀

Then Today my mom and her bf and i came all the way here. It was so awkward because I only met these people once before and i still didnt even know them, so when we got there and we were talking, it was so awkward. My mom's all happy i'm living here because she was sick of me living in some rent-a-room shit hole just for the sake of trying to be independent or whatever. Im happier too now since I don't have to be on edge…yet lol
Probably because when I got here, their cat gave me the look of death. Creepy

These last 5 years
When I was younger, I felt way more optimistic about my life after high school. I thought I could go to college, take a program or something I like, then get a good job. I knew I'd work some minimum wage jobs for experience and money etc, and I thought things would go generally well.
But it took my angry-bigot stepdad's influence to grind all that optimism down. He just wanted me to work a crappy job with him. I didnt, not even when living at his house. After all that bullshit, and a bunch of other things i dont want to talk about, I could be a hell of a lot more optimistic about things.

But it feels like, even with the good things in my life, it's all going to come crashing down, or it's all gonna end, and I'm gonna end up poor and scraping by. Not that ever happened, and i hate feeling like this. Finally growing the balls to accept parent's help when it comes to things like finding a place (my mom's helping me do that in the spring, she's even offering to cover part of the rent, WITHOUT making me pay it all back later ^^. I didnt accept that at first because with my guilty conscience, i felt like i didnt deserve that and went to live at that house with that asshole room mate ( i didnt know he was a complet shitfaced shit bag at first)

My mind's in a box
Recently, and this is why my fanfics were crap and i eventually stopped lurking on her for a while,, i was on edge so much, that i pretty much lost the ability to be creative, like to write, or draw (lol i hardly do that anyway). I stopped working on my fiction story, and everytime I got Wordpad open, i just can't fucking think, and on top of that i suddenly get too self conscious to the point if i try and fight my way through it, it just turns out to be garbage anyway.
My interests in things also diminished, and pretty much stopped going to MAgic Night in maple ridge (Magic the Gathering), I stopped looking at maps (something i used to do alot), and I didnt even go biking as much anymore because of my toe (had the hangnail fixed and i had to stay off it).
So pretty much under the stress of feeling on edge at home, colds, etc and feeling depressed at times, I just resorted to one distraction: WoW
Yeah I was that pathetic.

Like all my belongings right now, i feel like my mind, the thing that's supposed to shine, is apart and all in boxes. it'd be real nice for it to come out and unfold and open up again. And I can actually be myself and not feel pressured by my self to 'shut down'

My cousin Sheena

Well at my mom's house, I played Pokemon Soulsilver on my DS with my little cousin Sheena who lives there now. I swear this kid is so annoying, given the frequencies and volume of her voice and her rapid fire speech. She doesn;t know it but she is annoying and talks nonstop. I don't get mad at her because she likes hanging out with me and actually behaves herself and remains calm and plays her game. For a 7 year old kid, she gets really hyped up and becomes one hell of pest for my sister Ella and my cousin Jackie, who also lives there. My mom took both S and J in because of crap going on with other relatives.

But this kid goes into rage mode, like serious rage when she gets angry, or so I'm told. I never saw her in rage mode since she just remains chilled when I'm visiting.

WoW, WTF BLizzard??
Like anyone who has a new 85 warlock and has trouble with the new specs and rotations, I got a grudge against Blizz. My rogue was already useless, now my lock can't do shit! Before PAtch 4.o.1 when they changed only the talents, glyphs and interface, with the new destro spec taught to me by a generous warlock, i was flamebroiling everything. It was great. I wanted a horde warlock too so i levelled one up in November. By the time i got it to 80, patch 4.03 comes out and

12% reduction of all warlock spells among other nerfs. I was like "fffFFFFUUUUU—–". My warlock couldnt kill things as fast as he could.
Then at 85 after getting kicked out of heroics and even normal dungeons, I looked up new specs and wrote down the instructions on rotations and–
the rotation ate up my mana in 2 seconds and i did no where as much damage as my old 4.0.1 spec.

So pretty much my Horde warlock is only good for 2 things: mining, prospecting, and jewelcrafting. Meh, at least I made 27K gold in the first week of Cata 😀 And my lock's all paid up on 280% and 310% flying (both fees are 10k total) So I'm happy about that.

School Going back to Capilano U next week, just taking 2 classes: English 104 contemporary fiction and Geography 200 economic geog. Just 2 credit fillers. And part time as i got a grant only for part time, and that's all i have the attention span for.

I'll lurk for a bit then post something more cheerful later.
Happy New Year