I had a Nose Bleed

I have been in more arguments than the whole Harvard Debate Team. I can't really say why I've been through so much arguments with my husband but for some reason I can't get through to him that money doesn't grow on trees and that our daughter needs her things.

We've been arguing for a while now, I say about a week. And I'm fed up. Sure I have the patience of a god but enough is enough. I can't be the only caretaker of this house. I cook and clean and raise my daughter and I go to classes. Don't get me wrong. My husband is very helpful when it comes to our daughter. That's it. I don't get any help with household chores. I'm tired.

So today, I blew up at him. I guess I got real hothead because my nose began to bleed.

I told him that right now I was doing my own thing and I'm fairly busy with everything that I need to do to get off of Welfare. Which means if I have to have a job scrubbing floors, I'll do it because I need to feed and clothe my daughter. Since he got fired I guess he's been down on his luck, but for 8 months oh no. That is why I was forced to get on welfare because I couldn't work because of my daughter and I didn't have child care. Well… now because I'm looking for work he wants to work long side of me. He said something about not trusting other people with me… Load of Bull.

I don't trust him to be alone period.

I looked at him, holding my nose, and calmly said to him that if he wasn't serious about this job than I was going to leave him because I didn't want anyone holding me down. And I also told him that I didn't have any problem raise my daughter on my own so I want you to get the fuck out my house and don't come back until you have a job.

At 4:37pm he grabbed his bike, a large backpack full of clothes and left. I called his cousin and told him everything. He said that my husband could stay with him but he's gonna make him work. He was of an adult age to figure it out on his own. I told him that I guess he doesn't realize that life is hard especially in this economy. He still has that silver spoon in his mouth… My husband's cousin cut me off and said to not worry he'll whip him into shape.

Right now, since last week, I've been killing myself to find child care, to buy professional work environment clothes. Now that I have child care I've started classes and I'm looking for employment and seriously do you honestly think I need someone like him to hold me back. I don't think so. If he's not motivated I'm not bothering him. And shortly after that.. I might have to cut him off soon if he doesn't realize what kind of pickle we're in. And to prove to him that I was serious.. It's been about two months since I haven't paid any of my bills and everything's being cut one by one. I don't fuck around. If shit needs to get done it will get done. Until he notices what the hell I've been doing on my own, he'll have no fucking clue what the hell is going on.

So, I'm doing my own thing right now. Zoe's doing her day care thing. Nothing holding me back. Best believe that. 🙂