What’s in a name?

Words are words, sentences are sentences, paragraphs paragraphs. But when it comes to a name, there’s always a significance to it. Whether it’s making your email account or naming your first baby, there has to be something to it, a memorable quality. I digress; let’s focus on the online names.

Everyone here has made an online name for something. Maplestory, Youtube, Gmail, Xbox. Hell, if you didn’t make a name to get into this site, you’re probably an existential anomaly. But what’s in a name? What makes it special?

Personally, I like names that are words. Perhaps it reflects my utility-over-aesthetics philosophy, but it just seems more original than most other names I see. For instance, my name here is darkness. Simple, eight letters, it’s a word, no numbers, no asterisks, none of that. Though it probably wouldn’t make a good real name, it certainly won’t sound as nerdy as some other online names when someone refers to it. Bad news is that it’s probably easier to hack and jack than most other names. Oh well, the risks we take.

More often than not, names like those are taken. It’s a big world, and games and other sites can only have so many different names. Some of you resort to using numbers. I’m not too big of a fan of numbers, because it makes me seem like a run-of-the-mill name that had been churned out by the suggestion page after your name fails to work. But I do give credit for those who do, for they may have some significance, whether it’s one’s birthday or just the first number that appeared when you made an account when you were five. Could be a famous sports player’s number, could be part of a phone number, could be an age. They may be used to cleverly replace letters. If it means something, it is something.

Others go with the broken caps option, where sOmE lEtteRs aRe CapITAlized. Unless it is supposed to add a notable aesthetic value to a name, a clever usage of the caps lock or shift, which I can respect, to me, they are an eyesore. It’s hard enough to read an essay or a research paper without yawning, I prefer not to scroll through words that look like someone was pounding on the caps lock every three seconds.

Names that are actual names (John, Bob, Kevin, Melissa, to name a few), I’m surprising not too attached to. If people use the names, fine, I could accept that. Sometimes it makes them easier to identify anyway, which is never too bad. Names are ancient words that had meaning, and despite being distorted by time and language, they can retain the definition of the name. I just can’t think of any right now. They just seem overused for naming because they’re… you know, names.

Names with multiple words are on the scale. On one hand, names can be clever, cutesy, cheeky. On the other, they could be nothing more than an over-exaggeration (or overcompensation, if you catch my drift). If you call yourself DudeMan, it’s not necessarily the most… effective name, I guess. If your name is CouchPotato, I’d give you a high-five.

Names that look like they were made by a monkey hammering at a keyboard are in a league of their own. Just, no. No one’s going to remember, or want to remember, wwtjrdgnrgr. Pronounce it. You can’t.

Names that look like you’re a botter (IllilIllilllI1)… well, if a friend of mine made an account with that name, I would probably personally get a cane and beat their computer to bits. Or console, I’m okay with that. No one will remember that name; you’d be nothing but part of a mishmash of trolls and botters and hackers who don’t want to get caught so they made ridiculously difficult-to-read names.

Notably enough, some of you readers have probably used at least one of the aforementioned “styles” of names. What say you? What reason may you have for calling yourself yourself?