My 'Great' Weekend.

It's been a long time since I wrote a blog.. haha

I wanna talk about the family problems that I'm facing right now.

My dad is diagnosed with cancer two weeks ago. Stage 3

I was at my friend's place working out. I work out because I'm skinny as fuck and I just have to be occupied with something, such as dance. When I dance, my mind is constantly thinking and my body is constantly moving. That shit keeps me on the run. But when I take a break just by simply sitting down or laying on the floor, that mood of nostalgia and depression sets in immediately. Working out and dancing has been the "Peter Pan" activities that I've been doing these days.

Then my brother calls me asking if I wanna eat dinner. I told him that I don't want to cuz I'm working out right now. Then I could hear my mom in the back yelling and bitching about me. I mean I thought it was like 11:30 pm because why would she bitch about this? I look at the clock, it was only 8:30 pm. What can my mom possibly want me home so early?

Friends : "You're going home this early? See ya man"

Me : "Yeah, my mom wants to talk to me about stuff, bye."

As I got home, she did the death-stare-and-ignoring-you move. Apparently, that shit doesn't work on me anymore because all she wants to do is waste my time by making me sit next to her to ask What's wrong? What happened? What did I do? for like four hours before she says anything. So as a catalyst of this process, I walked to my room. Just as predicted, she told me to come out before I set foot through my doorway.

"Sup' " I said. Then she starts to yell at me about my grades. Apparently, I got a 86.5% test grade and 103% homework grade for math and 71% test grade and 99.6% homework grade for AP Environmental Science. I approached my mom with reasoning, which works like about 3% of the time or maybe less. I tried to explain to her that I can correct my homework and get points back and you can't do that for test in math class and AP Environmental Science is hardcore as fuck and the class average for test is 67% (So technically, I did pretty good).

I guess what I told her didn't get to her brain.

She was like, "NO EXCUSE." Then she talked about how being a student is so much easier than everything else. That's easy to say if you went to high school back in the 1970s in Taiwan (Which the education was poorer than now) and never to college. Sure, I mean, my mom goes to the hospital to take care of my dad. That's some hard work. But she just treats me like a little kid and disregard the education that I'm getting. My school is one of the most famous schools in Asia and also one of the hardest. Let's say if I'm getting a C+ in my school, that means I can get at least A- in normal public schools.

After yelling about my grades, she began to yell at me for not attending prep class. HI MOM, YOU SIGNED ME UP TO A CLASS THAT YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT AND YOU'RE YELLING AT ME FOR NOT GOING? THANKS.

That's not the point. She said that I have changed a lot since dad's illness. I've been returning home late and I've been focusing on dance way too much.LIKE, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS. I ALWAYS COME HOME LATE ON FRIDAYS

Later that night..

I called up my friend (He's the same friend that I go to to work out with) around 8 pm asking if he wants to go out and have a midnight walk again since that his parents aren't home, might as well just chill.

So like, I've been going out for midnight walks because every time that I'm doing nothing at home, as I said before, that makes me think of my dad. I've only told a couple friends and all of my teachers about it. My counselor asks me if I wanna take a day off from school, but personally, I don't like to get away from work just because I'm depressed. I just think it's retarded. I don't even know what I'm talking about..

So then, I asked my mom if I could go out for a walk. She doesn't know that I usually take midnight walks around 3 am in the morning cuz she's always bitching. But I decided to walk now cuz I wanna sleep later. After I asked, her right eyebrow tensely rose upwards as if you were to bend a crowbar,

Her : "OUTSIDE, AT THIS TIME, 9:30?! Tell me, huh, where, huh?"

Me : "I'm just gonna walk down to around school and back."

And then she tells me a bunch of shit about how it's dangerous outside at night. I try to explain to her that there ARE no gangsters in suburbia. Plus even if there were, why would they hangout near a police station?

Her : "No, you stay at lobby. There are bad people outside in the world. You will get hurt! Don't you know that it's dangerous outside?!"

Me : "Okay, mom, I'll make sure that I won't get anally raped by bad guys. Okay? Shit."

Her : "How long you take?"

Me : "Iono, won't be long"

Her : "GIVE ME A TIME"

Me : "SHIT OKAY, 20 MINUTES OK? Fuck"

Her : "What kinda attitude is that, huh?"

Me : "Mom, 2009 minus 1992 is NOT 5, okay?"

And then I left. I met up with my friend and then we went to 7-11 to buy Vodka Ice and sat down somewhere and drank and I started to tell him what had happened after I went home.

Time flies when you're having a conversation.

Then when I said that I should go, he decided to go with me. Then we just for fun, I was like. "Hey let's name all the streets that we usually walk." We came up with so many random inside names (Like, inside jokes). We came up with names like, OK Way, Crack Deal Alley, C.A.F. (Chinese As Fuck) Street, Main Way, Inclination, Erection Point, The Shortcut, and more. That walk was fun.

When I got home.. my mom locked the door on me. My state of calmness turned to boiling anger. I punched at the glass window with all my power and, holy crap, that hurts like a fuck. The glass was alright, only like one long crack. Then my mom unlocked the door and I came in. As I entered, she was holding a stick. Typical.

I was like, "What the fuck is your problem?!" She pointed at the clock and it says 9:53 pm. "What, only three minutes late. Fuck!" Then she swung the stick at my shoulder and I caught it, snatched it out of her hands and broke that shit in half with the impact of my knee in the middle.

Her : "Why do you go out for walks, huh?"

Me : "Cuz I'm unhappy, okay"

Her : "Just because I told you to come home earlier? That embarrass you in front of your friends?"

I snapped.
Me : "NO, YOU FUCKING RETARD, IT'S CUZ OF DAD"

Last night, I haven't cried so much in such a long time.

It's really hard to see my very own father laying on the hospital bed looking like shit. He looks so weak and brittle and, for me, it hurts to see him being sick and so close to death.

peace nigbraz

Last week was Spirit Week at school. Seniors wear black. I took on the extremes