Max’s surgery recovery log 1

Hi guys, I’m back in Taiwan and uh.. IT’SA FCUKN AEWSUM TO BE BACK!!!!11

However, the joy of eating real Asian meals (as opposed to the synthetic shit they call “Asian cuisines” in Boston) and meeting up with old high school friends did not last long.

You see.. I had an inguinal hernia surgery.

A hernia is basically a hole in the wall of muscles that hold in your intestines and a part of the intestine falls through that hole.

Inguinal means the that intestine is dropped into the scrotum. So yeah, my intestine in my nutsack.

I was doing as much research as I can on how to take care of myself after the surgery and I came across a couple recovery logs from bodybuilding.com. Turns out a lot of people who get hernias around my age (I’m turning 20 soon) get it from doing squats and deadlifts incorrectly. Unfortunately, I am guilty of that.

Oh yeah, they have to empty my intestines 12 hours before the surgery.

So they give you laxative pills right?

Ha…………………… no.

??

They shoved a hose up my ass and pumped liquid laxatives until I feel like shitting.

D:

Yup, I was raped.

Anyway, I decided to write a recovery log cuz I feel like it. Besides, I have nothing else to do lol.

–Day One–

I had my surgery at 10 AM. During the surgery, they put me on IV and told me that I can’t eat anything or drink water until 6 PM. It sucked cuz I was allowed to eat anything since 11 PM the day before. So that means I haven’t consumed anything for 18 hours. I laid flat for like 5-6 hours on the hospital bed while my stomach shrunk. Seriously man, It’s not like I can get up and use the computer or anything cuz the anesthesia was still in effect. I felt like a dying vegetable.

When it got to 5:54 PM, I was like, “yo fuck this shit.” and I pressed the incline button on the hospital bed. Trying to get up in that position was pretty damn painful too. It hurts like shit cuz you’re basically stretching your shrunken stomach from a flat position to an incline position. Baring the pain and slowly getting up to the incline position took up to about 20 minutes for me to be able to eat the bentou box my mom brought me.

I think I lost like 3 kg for starving for so long lol. Anyway, the next challenge was to get off of bed to take a piss. This was unbelievably hard. It took me forever to place my legs off the bed even with help. When I was finally standing on my feet, I slowly walked over to the bathroom bracing my surgical wound as if I got kicked in the nuts while holding the IV. Yo, I pissed for straight two minutes man. I got really dizzy from standing too long..

Taking a shit was pretty scary too. Just the thought that my surgical wound will prolly explode if I squeeze my stomach from shitting gives me the chills. But then it went very smoove cuz I ate a lot of vegetables lol.

I’m gonna compile the other ones later, but for now I’ma peace zzZZZzzzZZZzzZZZzzzzz..