You Have To Save The World (Episode Fun)

One morning you were busy eating potato chips when suddenly a fairy pops out of the bag! Oh my!

"Destiny's child! You have to save the world!" she says.

You spend the next few minutes wondering if the fairy is made of potato chips but then began to wonder why you're eating potato chips in the morning in the first place.

"Wait a second!" you exclaim.
"Finally! You respond! So you must be alive!" the fairy says, hold her hands in excitement.
"My mother's name is not Destiny! Her name is Margaret!"
"Doesn't matter! Won't you save the world?"

After thinking about it for a few minutes, you agree! It's not like the plot will move anywhere if you don't! The fairy's name is Yriaf (pronounced yeara) and will accompany your journey!

"Here! I shall cast a protection spell."

This spell will protect your from dieing, though you can still suffer injuries.

"Who said that?" you ask.
"That's the narrator, who will usually say plot relevant things or describe stuff," Yriaf answers.

I do this because I'm bored. Work with me here…er… What's your name again?

You open your mouth to say your name is… Oh goodness! You suddenly realize that for the past… Oh goodness! You have no idea what's your age, how you look like, gender, or culture like! All you know about yourself is that you speak English, like potatoe chips, have a house, and a mother named Margaret!

"Oh my!" Yriaf exclaims.

Well this is… Odd. You're like some sort of… Ageless, Faceless, Gender-Neutral, Culturally Ambiguous Adventure Person! An AFGNCAAP, if you will.

"How do you pronounce that?" you ask.

No matter! We have a deadline! The world will end in 5 Vulogs' worth of text (about 5000 words in total)! Get cracking!

"Oh dear!" both you and Yriaf exclaim.
"We must go to the mountains of the North Woods to retrieve the first piece of the ancient weapon!" Yriaf informs you.

You quickly pack all the things you'll ever need for the trip:

Some cans of funky stuff (These will act as potions)
A bag of chips (Technically a half empty bag of chips. You're still kinda hungry and thus your HP is not at max)
The clothes on your back (Face it- you're never going to change out of these)
You begin to pack some toilet paper and food but decide not too (You'll never get hungry or need to poop. In hindsight, it retcons the chip thing.)
A slightly used battery (This will act as a Chekhov's Gun later)

You search for a weapon before deciding to break the ceiling fan and taking one of the blades.

You obtained the Fan Blade! It's pretty freaking powerful too, uping your level at least 10x!

Awesome! Only five minutes in and you're already level 10! Woohoo! You run out of your house with your fairy companion Yriaf because now…

Wait, this isn't a blog worth of words! We have to continue this!

"Seriously?" you asked the narrator.

Yes, I am being serious.

With a sigh of frustration, your proceed to start the Battle Tutorial.

ENCOUNTER!

The music playing is pretty catchy, and before you stands a ferocious Fire Head Dragon! Level 2.

"OK, this is your first battle." Yriaf tells you.
"How the hell am I suppose to kill a dragon with this Fan Blade?!"
"Easy. You outlevel this guy about 8 times."
"…Seriously? Sweet, tell me what to do."
"OK, you have five commands."

Beat Up
Chant Down
Supply In
Chicken Out
Block Right

"Beat Up let's you attack your enemy with the weapon you currently have equipped, in your case, the Fan Blade. Chant Down let's you chant a spell that will do something."
"Am I smart enough to chant spells?" you ask.
"Maybe. But since I'm the fairy Yriaf, I will be the one who will cast the spell."
"Does this mean I'll be the one taking hits?" you ask.
"Uh-huh."
"…Cool, proceed," you say.
"Thank you. Supply In let's you use one of your supplies. Any MP restoring items will go to me while HP restoring items will go to you. Chicken Out let's you run if you're that much of a sissy. Block Right let's you block to your right, though it might not succeed. Now, see the three bars?"
"No," you answer.
"…OK, do you see the letters?"

HP: 99/100
MP: 100/100
XP: 0/10

"They all-"
"Can we just get to the part where I fight this guy? I bet the readers are tired of this boring tutorial ****," you break.
"Oh, uh… Alright. Do whatever you want?" Yriaf says.

You let out a howl! You jump towards the Dragon and start to hack at it's neck with your Fan Blade! Pow! Crack! Splat! +15 dmg!
The Dragon let's out a roar that makes you piss yourself! No wait… That's blood. Nevermind! -10 HP
You run to the Dragon but trip over your own two feet. You land on your Fan Blade. -2 HP
The Dragon starts to breathe fire but instead breathes confetti.
You let out a howl! You beat the crap out of the Dragon and boy does it smell like Dragon poop! From a Dragon! Because it is a Dragon! +15 dmg!

You win the battle! Gain 1500 Monster Guts! Gain 10 XP! Level up! You need 20 more XP for the next level.

"Ew! What's with the Monster Guts?" you ask Yriaf.
"That's the form of currency we use in this world."
"But didn't we dollars and coins before all this?"
"Yes but where would a monster get dollars and coins?
"…Good point. But why so much?"
"What? You'd take only a little of the guts and leave the rest? This isn't a game you know."

Anyway.

"Who said that?" you ask, jumping. Yriaf looks at you like you're an idiot. "Hey, what do we do now?"
"Hey, you're the hero, I'm just the person helping you," Yriaf answers.

OK, up to you! What should you do now?

Stats

HP 87/100
MP 100/100
XP 0/20

Current level 20 (2×10)

A) Train some more.
B) Heal up by drinking one of the cans of funky stuff.
C) Return to the dead Dragon and tear off a tooth to use as a new weapon.
D) Proceed to the mountain of the North Woods.
E) Do B, C, A & D, in that order.