Happy new years everybody!
How’s life treating you? Hang on, let me tell you about my life first. Because that’s more important.
I’m writing this while on the side of the road. I decided to stop for a while; although I love driving at night, it gets kind of tiring. Also, I’ve been thinking of writing this blog for a while now to share my wonderful life with you. I’m travelling to a nearby city where my girlfriend lives at the moment. A few months ago she received a really good job offer and, after we discussed it, she finally took it. At first I was reluctant, but I figured out that we could make it work. And we are! The first week I accompanied her until she settled down. Now I visit her on weekends and sometimes when I get a day off (I’m the boss of the company – I can get all days off!). It’s not that far away, it’s around two hours and a half, and she’s worth it. Also, since I got this new BMW I love driving. Did I tell you that she was a supermodel? Yeah. Lingerie. Good stuff.
Just kidding.
Anyway, life is still great, even without the car, the job and the supermodel girlfriend :v. I finished High School last year. I will be studying Information Engineering, and hopefully finishing it by 2019. Strangely I haven’t been programming that much lately. I don’t seem to find time for it any more. The last time was a few weeks ago in Python and C++, but before that, I haven’t coded for a while. I still enjoy it and it’s fun, but I think I found it more fun when I was younger. On another topic, I’m learning to play the piano :3 I find unbelievable the amount of effort you have to put into it to be half-decent. I started a few weeks ago, a professor a friend recommended. He’s young (one year older than me), but he’s fun and I am enjoying his classes. At the moment I’m saving up for buying a keyboard (they’re expensive – at least here), and if I keep this pace in about three or four months I will be able to buy a decent one. Thing is, I don’t want to buy a really cheap one, I want to at least have one that has sensitivity on the keys and feel comfortable with its sound. Even if I have to wait a little longer to get a slightly better one, I’ll do it. It’s important for me because it’s something I will buy myself, with my own money, earned through months of work. The best thing is that it will be mine. Not something my parents got for me, not something borrowed like the humble keyboard I have right now (4 octaves, no sensitivity, sounds a little bad).
Girlfriend thing is still on, it’s been almost two years now. We had a break-up in mid-November, and we got back together a week later. Man, did I have a bad time. The last months of high school were a complete mess for me, I had to see her every day, even when we were still in a relationship (before the breakup) I was sad. I felt like she didn’t care for me any more. So I became more dependant, because she showed no signs of love and it hurt me. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know if it was my imagination, as I tend to overthink some things some times, or if it was real. So when she showed a little bit of interest I got hooked again and instantly forgot all else. I would have given everything for her at that time. So, one day, at our high school graduation party, I couldn’t take it any more and finally told her how bad of a time I was having, and that I thought she was distant. I was expecting her to punch me or something and tell me that everything was okay – that everything was my imagination. Surprise surprise, I did not imagine a single thing. She told me she didn’t love me any more. She told me she didn’t want to have sex with me any more. She told me she got bored of reading my sweet texts. She had been feeling this for a couple of months now.”Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been suffering so much”, I asked her, in a mix of sadness and anger. She told me that she wanted to tell me after HS ended, so that I wouldn’t suffer through the last days of school. Fuck me, right? I couldn’t believe it. After that, I had to go to physics education class (party ended at 6am, class started ~8.30am). I slept there until the class started. It was so fucking cold (early spring) and I didn’t have my jacket. I wrote all of these things in my cell phone, what we could do. What we could do to get through this. We could do this and that, stop doing this, and we didn’t have to have sex until she wanted to. Oddly, I didn’t see this as the ending of the relationship at the time, but like some sort of fight we would eventually get over. I skipped school and went home, couldn’t sleep at all. I called texted her at around 1PM and asked if we could meet to talk this through. But… the way she answered didn’t give me any hope. In fact, it was the exact opposite. While I walked to her house (around 15 blocks from mine), I started to really understand it (such a genius). This was the end. The break up. My high school crush of 4 years that I finally asked out and had spent almost a year and a half together, so fucking perfect, that was over. I don’t think I will ever forget that day, or the way the conversation went when I got there. I will be honest though: first thing I did when I left her house was walk a bit, and then cry so much I had to sit. I called my mom, who sometimes gives me advice on relationship stuff. She told me to go to her workplace and that she’d talk with me. We talked like an hour straight (actually I talked for an hour straight), telling her what happened, how I couldn’t believe this happened, and how I felt for her. I hadn’t slept yet, and I was starting to get really dehydrated. We went home, and I tried to get some sleep. I had such a bad time – I would be doing something, and out of nowhere, I would start crying. Hard. I couldn’t be left alone with my thoughts, they were killing me.
Friends are fucking important. When you’re in a relationship you think that they’re not that important, your SO’s got your back and shit. But the ones that take care of you after you break up with her, even if you haven’t been so nice to them lately, are your friends. I’m much more appreciative of them now.
Everything is good with her now, though. Healthy relationship again.
In another topic, recent events include a trip to New York and a new computer :3. It’s not that fancy, but I’m in love with it nonetheless. I may upload some pictures later. Funniest thing – I bought in the U.S. the Mobo, the CPU, RAM and graphics card (first dedicated one I’ve ever got! last one was a GTX 430, and before, a 8400GS). But I didn’t buy a Power Supply, I figured that the one I had would be enough (600w). Turns out I had a generic one and I had to buy one at home, which delayed the setup for around a month.
The trip to New York was K. It was fun, but it was a long time and I actually got bored of it. We took the megabus to Washington and Boston, loved them. Boston was too cold for me though, I’m not accustomed to such cold weather. When I went it was around -15ºC, coldest I’ve ever been in my life I believe. Washington was awesome, I enjoyed quite a lot the museums, especially de Air and Space museum. We stayed in the states for two weeks, and spent Christmas there. Everyone celebrates there! Theme songs on every shop, santas on every corner, I’ve never experienced something like that in my life. We stayed at an apartment for the most part, except for the last few days when we changed to a hotel because it got really expensive on Christmas Eve. Something I don’t like about the city is the cuisine. It’s too spicy, sometimes insipid, and generally tastes the same for me. I enjoyed the pizza and sushi though. In the apartment we could cook ourselves, so we ate much cheaper, healthier and generally better. As the bad luck bryan that I am, I got food poisoning the night before the flight. A doctor came to visit me, told me that I was too dehydrated from vomiting and that I needed to absorb water or else I would need to go to the emergency room. I had taken many pills but none were successful. It was weird after that, I started feeling better after the meds, but I wouldn’t eat anything. I didn’t eat anything for three days, and I wasn’t even hungry. I got better afterwards, but couldn’t eat normal for about two weeks.
At the moment? I don’t know anything. I don’t know how this year will be, at all. It’s the first year for me out of the school system I’ve been in for twelve years (7 from elementary and 5 from hs). Now I’ll have more responsibilities, but at the same time, more freedom. I guess that’ll be good. I’m not liking my family too much these days. But that’s a topic for another blog :3