Lapse.

You're a poet and you don't know it.

I wanted to blog about something. I had a lot of ideas in my head last night but now I've forgotten them all. So here we go, impromptu blogging.

Stalker

I have one.
Kim told me I'm overreacting, but I'll tell you why I think so.
She is in every lecture and quiz lab tutorial that I attend
She takes every train I take, morning and night, every day from school and to school.
She STARES at me in class.
My friend caught her on my Facebook. I don't know how she got in, but my privac settings didn't do jack shit.
She has that look, you know?

Yea so..yea.
I'm not scared. If anything, it's like progression.
Achievement: Gain your first stalker

Let's face it, girls get that achievement at like the age of 2, but for guys, it's not only weird and disgusting, but a bit of a weird ego boost.
Never mind.

Dreams

I can't sleep, I always think about it
And when I dream, I can't sleep, and I wake, and scream about it
My concious eats at me, I can't breathe sometimes

I never control my own life
(Charles was never in charge)
No stories, no treatment, I have to live with it
No else see's it, but I drink and breathe in it
I put my face up, I get high, I can fly,
To put the show on for others, nobody's wonders why

It's like, imagine yourself sitting
And parts of your life, away they be whitting
Thy disappear, time lapses gone,
I lose hours, days, months, with a yawn

Somedays, fuck it, live with it, you're a big boy,
You take the punches and roll, you ain't His toy,
But others, I can't get up, it kills me,
To not remember anything, to be un-free,
Of this canary, these vines, that twist up my life,
Fuck, how the hell am I supposed to have a wife?
Or kids, or friends, when they don't know,
that my life's fucked up, whoa now, whoa
It aint' fucked up, look at those kids 'round the world,
with no food, no love, they find a corner to curl,
and die, so fuck you, prick, you got it easy
Stop spitting these words, stop being so cheesy

fuck.

Marley

Girl from pool.
Unofficial official.
She's 16.
I really really like her. She puts a smile on my face.
If you tools have a problem with age, I don't care. Fucking respect means shit all nowadays. You build up a relationship with someone, and you screw up once and it all goes to hell.
Yea, we make out, and I'm a bit of a whore, so what? It's how I get through my life. I'd rather be a manwhore then be some bitch who doesn't know how to share their feelings. Because they're afraid of the world. Afraid of what peopel will say, or do, or afraid that they might regret it. Live for the moment. Make things happen. Don't let others make your day, make your own.

How the hell did this metamorphisis happen? Everyone is a person. Everyone listens too much, to what others say, they let drama and shit-talking ruin everyone's day.

Everyone has those days. You're alone in the zone, cold, you don't care.
You've got homework, or boyfriends, but it's all loose bearing. Live in these moments. Because these's are the only times you let yourself listen to you, and no one else.

Anger

I dont know why I'm so angry. Pir thinks I'm mean, I'm dishonest, I distract the truth.
I don't.
I tell it like he wants to tell it. He's a scared bitch. He doesn't know what he wants, he's too nice for his own good, he lets people walk all over him, and do things that they do.
So I step in for him, I make things right, but he hates me, please tell me why?
He wants me, he needs me, I knoW, I can tell. I ain't ever going away, until he can say farewell
o the shit that haunts him, the things he wants, the way he lives his life, not how he holds that knife.

I'm a debutaunt, see. I make things right for him. No matter how anyone sees it.

I make his life bearable. If I wasn't around, he would have nothing. People would walk over him, make him their bitch, like they do now.
No more. He loves who he loves, and he cares for y'all, I can't change that. But no one ain't ever walking over my Pir again.

He won't delete this either. He knows it's the truth. I won't bother him when he's settled, I only come out when he needs me to, whether he knows it or not.

Shit, I'm talking too much. We've got a Calc test to study for.

Forgive the impugnant swearing.
None of this is directed towards any of you, I don't think.
I opened Notepad as soon as I felt it.

I need it.