Would you like a dinner date with that?

jk about the title. I think it was just us hanging out.

Lougheed Mall 6PM
I was starving and all I wanted was a sandwich.

Quiznos lady: Would you like some a drink with that? [i]
Me: A coctail of sugar, water and phosphoric acid? No thanks.
Quiznos lady: [i]Would you like a date with that?[i]
Me: JUST GIMME MY SANDWICH?!

[i] Sandwich in toaster oven. 3 minutes and counting.
++

Ok so it didn't happen like that, but still….

I got off the train and went to this mall near my house. I really wanted to go home but I was asked by the children's minister at the church I go to to volunteer at the sunday school and I was waiting for the bus to go to the oriantation meeting. *Sadface as bus going to my house leaves*

So I walked up to the mall and went to Quiznos to get a sandwich. There were some people standing in line waiting for their food. There was only one person working behind the counter- taking money and making sandwiches so it was a long wait.

There was this girl standing near me, but I didn't look at her, I was really preoccupied with the fact I was hungry and wanted food. So I paid my $5 for a sandwich and the lady goes to the back to work on previous orders. Then this girl stands next to me waiting for her sandwich. I look at her, and she looks at me.

I said, "Hi."
She says 'Hi' back then looks at the Quiznos lady again.

I pretty much thought, . Very good looking. She probably has a boyfriend, and if I say anything more, she'll probably think I'm a creep if not already. I want my sandwich.
*stomach gurgles*
Girl looks at me again after Quiznos lady gives her her sandwich, and says, '[Fancy] meeting you here."
…she knows me…where do I know her from? I dont remember. Maybe she'll walk away now.
girl doesn't walk away.
Why is she standing here- closer than normal distance girls put between them and me looking at me every few seconds?
"Excuse me, can I have some ice water?"
Quiznos lady hands her a cup of water.
oook she just wanted water. Now she'll walk away
girl Stays.
She's actually waiting for me…WTF is going on here?….ok screw this awkward silence. Make conversation!

I say, "Um, what's your name again?" [I emphasize 'again' as to make her think I knew her from somewhere and put in a VALID reason to speak to her, and quickly pull the bullshit "Oh sorry you look like somebody I know. Haveaniceday bye" routine to save face]
"C"
And we somehow started talking about stuff and she mentions wanting to be in cartography [working with maps], same interest as mine.
There's alot in common wtf is going on herE?!

But the surprising part was she was still talking to me and we were having a natural conversation where she says something that connects with something i can say and vice versa.
And I remind myself: The BF word will come up soon enough. Soon enough. It always does. She'll throw it in somewhere
So finally my sandwich comes, and feeling a little pleasantly surprised that this awesome girl was interested in talking with ME, and we sat down and talked about stuff for an hour. It was fun but the conversation was a little wrenching. C has a job working with maps with laid back people and that she's going to school and getting her [insert degree/certificate here], and talks about other stuff, while my guilty conscience and pre-regrets are trying so hard to burn me as I am talking with this girl.

C talks about her sweet job
I feel inadequate for not having gotten as far as she had in the field/schooling/etc, and strange that she didn't blow me off like a creep (that was the good kind of strange). Then kept trying not to think She's gonna blow me off. She's gonna find something she doesn't like. What if next time I see her and my esteem suddenly plunges so far down the shitter I cant talk and she never speaks to me again? She probably has a boyfriend or can easily find someone better…Oh shit what if she senses I'm feeling negative???.

and we talk about a bunch of other things like video games and our parents. apparently she left the light on and her mom raged. Then her iPhone rings and she silences it instead of answering it! Whoa, us talking is at this time higher priority than talking with her friends??

Eventually we had to go. She had to go to Walmart and I was late for the sunday school oritentation meeting. I missed the bus and had to walk/run all the way to the church.
It was a good evening, but strange. I had a dream that C came to my house and I was trying to clean up my room while she was there, then we played Guitar Hero, and my room mate kept laughing in his sleep from his room. I woke up so late for work thinking 'WTF'. But when I was on the bus this morning and for a few minutes it felt like meeting her was a dream.

I over thought. She put it simply "Don't try to plan out or predict your destiny."
Because after all the shit I've been through what with dating and not (check my earlier pages where it's me bitching about that), I'm in frantic mode trying to figure this all out, trying to see what's happening, and am alreayd filled with pre-regret of screwing up and her not talking to me again. (It turns out I like her). And above all I am all wound up about looking unconfident in front of her then losing her interest because of that.

I am so used to being blown off, so I didn't expect this LOL

But next time I see her, I'm just gonna try and not think about all this crap that gets me anxious, I didn't screw up this time, but next time…

but I'm really nervous about winding up in a social situation where I look like a dumbass/wuss/failure/etc. [I met this Korean girl in the spring, and we went to a drop in gymnastics thing, and I failed so hard at stretching and was so embarassed in front of her. she was like a pro gymnast. She doesnt talk to me anymore.]

K I'll shut up now